Techniques — An Exercise in Writing Humour, Glenny Palmer
GLENNY PALMER is the author of, “UNSTRAINED MELODY” Tools For Easier Poetry Writing (© 2004)
An Exercise In Writing Humour ©Glenny Palmer
Writers
are always asking what to write about, and I’ve observed that it
seems common that they are waiting for some momentous
occasion/experience to stir the Muse, and sometimes that occurs.
However, simplicity is usually the best key to potential material. If
humour is required, a sense of the ridiculous is invaluable.
A woman asked me if it’s possible to teach someone a sense of
humour. I
gave that some serious thought, and came up with ‘A
Frog Jumps Off A
Veranda Rail’. I hope you may find it helpful; I presented it
while
conducting one of my adult workshops, and it seemed to be well
received.
If you are not naturally prone to ridiculousness, (as I am) this can be
challenging. So here’s the exercise I used.
A
frog jumps off the verandah rail. What happens next? Most of the
replies I received indicated that it landed on the grass, and
that
was that. But was it?
What if it landed in the dog’s water bowl? What happened next? “It got
wet.” (Unanimous reply).
But was that all? No. What did the frog think ? “Bloody hell! I’m in
strife now.” What did the dog do ? The dog indignantly went for the
frog! What was the dog thinking? “The cheek of that bloody frog!” What
did the frog think? “Bloody hell! Here comes the dog, I’ve got to
hide!” What happened next? Mum comes up the path with a basket of wet
washing to hang out. The frog flies straight up Mum’s skirt. (a
potentially good cover from the dog’s view.) Mum screams. The basket of
washing goes flying, and lands on the dirt path. The dog tries to
fly
up Mum’s skirt to get the frog. Mum screams...again, and kicks
the
dog in the guts. The dog barks. Dad comes flying around the corner to
see what all the racket is. Mum bellows, “How many times have I asked
you to concrete this flaming path? How many times have I asked you to
tie up that bloody dog? Now all me washing’s dirty
because you’re a lazy so and so!!!!” Dad says “gawd!” and
heads for
the pub. Dad’s so depressed he drinks the week’s shopping money away.
So..... The dog has an aching belly. Mum has to do the washing again!
Mum’s sour on Dad. Dad’s depressed and drunk. They both starve
for a
week.........and all because.......a frog jumped off the verandah
rail!
This simplicity works just as well with serious subjects.
Attention to consequences + consequences + +.
Just take 1 action or emotion, and keep asking yourself “what
happens
next? What does that create? Then what happens next ?” Also, try
attributing cognitive process to animals and /or inanimate
things.
eg. What was the dog thinking? What was the frog thinking? How does a
fork feel being rattled around in a drawer full of hard hitting knives
and spoons? Well, how would you feel under the same
circumstances?
etc etc. (A measure of mild insanity does help, but if you’re
basically
‘normal’, which I doubt with your being a writer,
just practice.)
I
must get cracking and write an example of this story to
demonstrate.
In the meantime here is one other example of an animal’s
perspective.
I’m a frog and by nature my job is to croak,
I’ve been stuck in the dry dusty clay, it’s a joke,
but the Humans put signs up, “ Please pray for the
rain”,
so despite my sore throat I got croaking again.
Yes, I yodelled and croaked ‘til my vocal
chords strained,
and then…. hallelujah! it finally rained.
Then the more that I croaked, well the more that it
rained,
‘til I held the award for “Best Croaker”
ordained,
and the rivers all flooded, we even had hail,
and I backstroked and breaststroked and flipped like a whale.
Now my skin is much greener, like new Brussels Sprouts,
I’m quite sure I’m the best looking frog hereabouts.
And Oh! what a Christmas my talents will bring
for the poor dowdy Humans, at last they can sing.
They can play in the puddles and roll in the mud,
and laugh like I do when they fall with a thud,
They can hide in their grass that’s now two metre’s
tall,
Oh! what joy and what fun I’ve provided for all.
But the Humans, (strange creatures, I can’t
work them out),
are putting up signs saying, “Pray for the drought.”
It’s really too much for my little green brain,
When they get what they pray for, they whine and complain.
So this Christmas I think I’ll give Humans
away,
I’ll invite all my friends to come frolic and play,
tadpoles and turtles, mosquitoes, (yum) too,
and even a toad, (‘though we frequently blue).
‘Cause isn’t that what Christmas Day
is meant for?
to settle old scores and throw open your door
to let gratitude in, for the gifts we are given,
be they rain, hail or sun, they’re our blessings from Hivven
……. (so I can’t
spell…I’m a frog!)
Hope this helps.
Glenny Palmer
Articles
- David Campbell —
From a Judge’s Desk - Glenny Palmer —
An Exercise in Writing Humour
“Unstrained Melody” writing tools - Ellis Campbell —
1. Rhyme and Reason
2. Rhyme
3. Metre
4. Pattern
5. Words
6. Poetic Terminology
7. Inverted Phrases
8. Don’t Make Your Poems Too Personal
9. Terminology
10. Importance of First Stanza
11. Metaphors and Similes
Finally...
But... - Noel Stallard —
Performance Tips