The REAL Reason I Don't Brush My Teeth

[Stephen Whiteside]

This poem received Third Prize in the Toolangi competition this year, in the category of "Adults Writing for Children", as judged by children.


The REAL Reason I Don’t Brush My Teeth

This morning while I was brushing my teeth,
Half of my face fell onto the ground.
My left foot trampled it hard underneath,
And it made a horrible squish-squashing sound.

I bent down to stick it back onto my head,
But alas – and I promise, I really did try! –
I heard a loud popping that filled me with dread
As my foot came down hard on top of my eye.

My eye had exploded! There wasn’t a doubt,
And thick sticky fluid that looked clean and clear
Came seeping and peeping and weeping about,
And it stuck to my face like a large, single tear.

I picked up my face, then, in spite of the eye,
And fitted it back. Though I looked a bit sick,
I wasn’t too worried. I’ve never been shy,
And Blu Tack and sticky tape soon did the trick.

I wore a black eye patch the next day at school.
I felt pretty happy. There wasn’t much pain.
Everyone said that I looked really cool.
As for brushing my teeth? No, it’s NEVER AGAIN!

© Stephen Whiteside 22.02.2016

[Shelley Hansen]

Definitely another good recipe for success with the kids Stephen, with a generous helping of YUK!

Do I dare brush my teeth tonight? Another life-and-death decision to make! (sigh)

Congratulations on your success with the most of honest of critics - the kids!

Cheers
Shelley

[Stephen Whiteside]

Thanks, Shelley. I've always thought there is something especially fascinating about exploding eyes.

[Shelley Hansen]

Blimey! You should have done opthalmology!

[Maureen K Clifford]

Exploding eyes, erupting zits and toilet humour - all guaranteed kid pleasers