Wipper Bloody Snipper

[Bob Pacey]

Wipper Bloody Snipper

Now I always trim the garden edges and make the footpath nice and neat
I use a pick and shovel yeah it brings them up a treat
Then a while ago the kids decided what I needed was a clipper
so they brought one of them trimmer things called a Wipper bloody Snipper.

Did I know how to use it I threw my arms about
of course I know I answered any fool could work it out.
When they left I pulled the snipper out I'd have to learn real quick
it surely can't be difficult and I'm really not that thick

So I poked it and I prodded it but the damm thing wouldn't start
I flicked all of the switches on and off but I was quickly loosing heart
Then I read the small instruction book and would you want to know
you have to put some petrol in to make the damm thing go.

And once I got it started the mongrel went berserk
I couldn't get the angle right to get the cord to work
I started near the fernery and things were going great
then I ringbarked that pretty scrub that's planted near the gate.

Then the cord go caught around the wire on mothers favourite rose
well it really needed cutting back just not so drastic I suppose
The impatiens near the garden shed went flying through the air
they'll take a while to grow again I hope mum don't go down there.

I tried to trim the pathway but I couldn't hold it steady
it bounces off the edges then it jumps when I'm not ready
The azaleas in the corner plot were starting just to thrive
I think I might save one or two if there's any left alive

When I finished trimming all the yard I stood and gazed around
it looked like agent orange had been spread upon the ground
Well that was just four weeks ago the yards starting to recover
the doghouse has been pretty grim while I made me peace with mother

Oh the edges are all neatly trimmed and that scrub came back all right
the impatiens are almost like new but like they're suffering from blight
I only start the snipper up to make sure it runs all right
and I sneak out with me pick and shovel, and trim the edges now at night.


Bob Pacey (c)

[alongtimegone]

Ha ha good one Bob. Made me laugh. I've been using one for years but still sometimes thin out the gerbras by accident.
Wazza

[Maureen K Clifford]

I think this is a deliberate ploy by you blokes to get out of helping in the garden. Maybe I am wrong - I've been wrong before