Yesterday's Homework

[Stephen Whiteside]

Yesterday’s Homework

Last night, while walking home from school,
The sparkling bay looked very cool
And I, who felt extremely hot,
Decided on a dip. Why not?

A dolphin popped up by my side,
And said he’d take me for a ride.
Dazzled by his cheery grin,
I gripped him by his dorsal fin.

He towed me far. He towed me fast,
And when he let me go at last
I found that I was near some sand,
But very, very far from land.

I waded from the water next,
And stood upon the sandbar, vexed
To see the rising of the tide,
And no more dolphin by my side.

First my ankles, then my knees
Were inundated, by degrees.
A challenge great I knew I faced
As it came up around my waist.

High above me then I heard
A buzzing – not a bee or bird;
Not a chopper, not a plane,
But something tricky to explain.

It was a vessel from afar –
Some distant planet, moon or star –
That noticed I was in great strife,
And dropped down low to save my life.

It scooped me up, then high it flew.
Its crew weren’t green, but red and blue.
I thanked them. They were most polite.
I must have looked a dreadful sight

Dripping water on their floor.
“Could they fly me to my door?”
I asked them, but they answered not,
For then, a mighty cannon shot

Came crashing down from high above.
The shock waves gave our ship a shove,
And sent us tumbling to the ground,
Then further shots commenced to pound

The little vessel’s outer skin.
They made the most horrendous din.
Then one bloke rose up from the floor
And whispered to me, “We’re at war!”

He lurched across to grab the wheel,
And said, “I’ll see if we can steal
Away by keeping very low.
It might just work, but I don’t know…”

Right then I drew a breath, aghast,
To see my home go flashing past.
“Please, can you drop me off right here?
My family is very near.”

He tossed a ladder off the side.
I thanked him for the rapid ride.
Instead I jumped, with “What the heck!”
And soon felt water round my neck.

The shore looked very far away,
But next a creature, blueish-grey,
Nuzzled up with cheery grin,
And said, “Hang on, I’ll take you in.”

It was, of course, my dolphin friend,
To bring my journey to an end,
To lead me, with its gentle mirth,
To plant my feet on solid earth.

So now you’ll see the reason why,
With horrors in the sea and sky
(Though some of it was rather fun!)…
I haven’t got my homework done.

© Stephen Whiteside 12.03.2016

[Neville Briggs]

Interesting adventure. I never thought of that one in my homework defaulting days.

[Heather]

Shades of The Wizard of Oz. I loved the adventure Stephen.

Heather

[Stephen Whiteside]

Thank you Neville, Heather.

[Cropduster]

Wow...and I thought 'The dog ate it' was an elaborate enough tale

A rollicking great read and a fun poem.

[Stephen Whiteside]

Thanks, Alan.

[Shelley Hansen]

I really love it Stephen!

Have you heard the Irish song "Why Paddy's Not at Work Today"?? Here's an animated version with lego!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iA5RGI3zn20

If you take it too literally it probably isn't all that funny - but we first heard it in an Irish pub (in Ireland) with an Irish singer/comedian, complete with comic actions and facial expressions. In that context it was very funny, I can assure you!

Cheers
Shelley

[Stephen Whiteside]

Thanks, Shelley - interesting comparison! Yes I did hear that song many years ago, and have absolutely loved it ever since. (I also heard it somewhere simply as a story - perhaps before I heard the song version, I think.) Funny that somebody has taken the trouble to create a Lego re-enactment. Works quite well, too! The foreman producing a gun was a nice touch.

[r.magnay]

Great Stephen...but did it work?

[Stephen Whiteside]

Not sure…

Wouldn't be especially hopeful, though.