BULL-ANT BLUES

[Trisha Patterson]

Hi Marty,
Thanks for the reply. I have also had a run-in with those jumper ants you mentioned...It wasn't pretty either ...and PAINFUL!!!

Cheers
Trisha

[Neville Briggs]

What's a panicked browses, is that ....off with the blouses , bloomers and trousers !!

[Heather]

I enjoyed the poem Trisha. We have the Jack jumper variety here - horrid little aggressive things they are. The bites are very nasty.

Heather

[Trisha Patterson]

Hi Neville,
Have you been spying on me in the bush? Where ya bin, anyway?
Trish

[Trisha Patterson]

Thanks Heather,
Yes, they certainly are aggressive...especially when you are unwittingly standing on their nest whipper-snipping! Not exactly a clever move!!!
Trisha

[Heather]

You won't do it again though will you Trisha?

[Trisha Patterson]

I guess you could say its a case of "once bitten, twice shy"!!!
Trisha

[Neville Briggs]

I'm still here Trish. I was just intrigued by that interesting use of the word "browses". :

[Zondrae]

G'day Trish,

I tripped along with you smoothly, laughing all the way. Then I remembered the green tree ants I met in Darwin. I was a little afraid of resting under trees after that.

As far as the flow of the poem, it is regular until the very last line. I am getting picky I know but I am sure you can do better. Try to find something that doesn't destroy our lovely English language. I don't wish to make suggestions. I know you can do it yourself.

I was listening to a well known judge, I won't mention names, when asked how he approaches judging written work, his very first criteria was twisted sentences. (I shouldn't be telling you this, it is getting so hard to rate even in the top ten these days.) I bet you have been thinking about the line. haven't you? I await your reply.

[Trisha Patterson]

Hi Zondrae,
The last line that you mentioned (the twisted syntax) was deliberately written that way to roll off the tongue easier... for that particular metre. Maybe I could have emphasised "bite" and "long" to smooth it off, but (IMO) changing it to ... "bite you will long ponder"... does not flow as well, and as it wasn't for a comp, I wasn't too concerned.
Cheers
Trisha