Post
by David Campbell » Tue Nov 25, 2014 4:52 pm
Ah, Maureen, "Ukulele" Patterson (sometimes knowns as "Two Tees" Patterson), is something of a recluse so not a great deal is known about him. His father was an encyclopaedia salesman who was made redundant when the internet became popular, and who, sadly, was killed soon after when a bookcase fell on him. Ukulele still lives with his mother, who supports them both by sticking identification labels on Pink Lady apples. Ukulele only leaves the house on weekends to sell his poems at the Victoria Market but, apart from Waltzing St Kilda, a poetic history of the Palais de Danse on the St Kilda foreshore, none of his poems have ever sold more than five copies. He hopes that The Man From Yarra River will be his breakthrough work, so I have sought his permission to publish it. He has written me a letter, which I have, for want of better knowledge, quoted as he wrote it, for it seems the thing to do: “You can print it, but in sections, for I have to make corrections, and I need to take some time to check it through.” So here is the poem, with three more stanzas added:
He had driven up from Melbourne for a country holiday,
in his Blunnies, his Akubra, and his jeans,
for he reckoned that a bushman had a life that looked okay,
far away from city traffic and machines.
He was heading for Glenrowan, where Ned Kelly made his stand,
and in Kilmore he had stopped to have a bite
at the famous pub Red Lion, very stately and quite grand,
where he met a girl called Heather, surname Knight.
He approached her for assistance as he had a noble quest
that has haunted quite a few Australian men,
for he longed to be a horseman, one acknowledged as the best,
and he reckoned Heather knew a thing or ten.
For he saw himself a hero, mounted proudly on his steed,
with a skill that held the rest of them in thrall,
as he showed the local riders an amazing turn of speed,
for his talent was the envy of them all.
“Would you come and help me, Heather, for I’d like to learn to ride
like the man from Snowy River used to do,
and if someone could assist me, as my mentor and my guide,
in a day or two I’ll be a jackaroo!
’Cause I reckon it looks easy when I’ve seen it on TV,
and I’ve ridden on a Shetland at the Show…
it is just a case of rhythm, and some pressure with the knee,
and a horse will take me where I want to go!”
Heather stared at him a moment, but then gave a quiet smile,
and agreed that she would help him with his quest,
for if he was such a rider it would only take a while,
and he’d surely be the fastest and the best.
So she put him in the saddle of a fairly placid colt,
to begin at quite a slow and steady pace…
and she swore forever after that it wasn’t all her fault,
that what happened was a freak of time and place.
Last edited by
David Campbell on Fri Dec 05, 2014 10:15 am, edited 1 time in total.