Lost it
- Bob Pacey
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- Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 9:18 am
- Location: Yeppoon
Lost it
To many poems over in that dark place so needed a bit of balance.
LOST IT
A Friday night out in the big smoke
was the bushmans monthly treat.
He'd drunk himself a skinfull
and looked unsteady on his feet
He made his way ungainly
and he almost came to grief
as he staggered .
A thump he heard as there he stood
and .
He gazed forlornly at the
a to see.
Ah gees
assaulted his befuddled brain.
He quickly grabbed the object
before it made it down the
He wrapped it in a paper towel
and tore out of the .
To the doctors down the street he went
only a block or two.
The nurse was most insistent
all the info was required,
before he got to see the doc
and was allowed inside
He produced the part in question
and his story did relate.
Could they ...
or was he way too late
The nurse gazed down in disbelief
then her demeanour seemed to mellow.
For this was
but a soggy pink marshmallow
How can it be he then announced
as he held back a bleary tear.
I ate the damm marshmallow
on my way down here.
BOB PACEY (c)
LOST IT
A Friday night out in the big smoke
was the bushmans monthly treat.
He'd drunk himself a skinfull
and looked unsteady on his feet
He made his way ungainly
and he almost came to grief
as he staggered .
A thump he heard as there he stood
and .
He gazed forlornly at the
a to see.
Ah gees
assaulted his befuddled brain.
He quickly grabbed the object
before it made it down the
He wrapped it in a paper towel
and tore out of the .
To the doctors down the street he went
only a block or two.
The nurse was most insistent
all the info was required,
before he got to see the doc
and was allowed inside
He produced the part in question
and his story did relate.
Could they ...
or was he way too late
The nurse gazed down in disbelief
then her demeanour seemed to mellow.
For this was
but a soggy pink marshmallow
How can it be he then announced
as he held back a bleary tear.
I ate the damm marshmallow
on my way down here.
BOB PACEY (c)
The purpose in life is to have fun.
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!
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Re: Lost it
Yes Bob, you definitely have "lost it". 

the door is always open, the kettles always on, my shoulders here to cry on, i'll not judge who's right or wrong.
- Maureen K Clifford
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- Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
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Re: Lost it
Have you considered writing for a Foodie mag? On 2nd thoughts maybe best not 

Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
Re: Lost it
Bob, you write a lovely little piece in the non rhyming bit, and then to showcase bush poetry you write this vulgar piece of poor taste. I think you should moderate yourself (or maybe I will).
- Bob Pacey
- Moderator
- Posts: 7479
- Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 9:18 am
- Location: Yeppoon
Re: Lost it
Won't matter I will just change it back.
Poetry does not define who I am it is just something that I do for enjoyment and fun
Bob



Poetry does not define who I am it is just something that I do for enjoyment and fun



Bob
The purpose in life is to have fun.
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!
Re: Lost it
We are all reflected in our words; some of us are looking into muddy waters.
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- Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:08 pm
- Location: Here
Re: Lost it
The story doesn't seem to fit together quite right in the preliminary part , so that the punch line doesn't seem to follow from the preliminary information. That is, in the beginning the drunk has one piece of unexplained material salvaged from the trough, in the last bit it looks to be suggested that he has had two items, how does he come to have two items ? If the marshmallow handed to the medics is soggy, that suggests it came from the trough ? Is this original Bob, or have you miscopied it from somewhere.
Sorry, I don't get it.
Sorry, I don't get it.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.
- Bob Pacey
- Moderator
- Posts: 7479
- Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 9:18 am
- Location: Yeppoon
Re: Lost it
I did think at least you had some imagination Neville
But No it was not to be.
Bob
But No it was not to be.
Bob
The purpose in life is to have fun.
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!