ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

The Perils Of Mowing.

I went to mow the backyard dressed in my underwear
we have good high fences so the neighbour could not stare.
I got the job done quickly it looked so spick and span
I gazed across my handiwork thinking Bob you are THE MAN.

I thought I better water it to keep things looking green
but when I moved the sprinkler you should have seen the scene.
I have not used it for quite a while because we've had some rain
but what happened when I turned it on near sent me off me brain.

Something ran out of the hole and shot straight past me knee
I felt it scurry through the hair scared the hell out of me.
I chucked the bloody sprinkler and threw a fancy fit
I'm was sure it was a spider and so I screamed out SHIT !

Grabbing at me family jewels I ripped my PJ's off
and if you think that's funny I tell you do not scoff.
Cause spiders can be deadly especially if they can run
the big and bloody hairy ones are really not much fun.

Well that was when I saw it squirming through the grass
the chickens all came running as I fell down on my arse.
A flaming great big GECKO, so I suppose ya gotta laugh
very bloody funny yeah a good joke mate by half.

That was when I realised the bloke next door was looking on
he was up on his veranda oh I felt like such a nong.
I bolted for the backdoor then tripped up on the hose
I staggered through the back door with cuts and bloodied nose.

So now I'm sitting here not game to go outside
the sprinkler head is busted and I've lost every bit of pride.
The chickens got the Gecko he never stood a chance.
and the neighbours will be spruiking about my nudie spider dance.

Bob Pacey (c)

It'll be on You-tube next!

Would be scary if you knew how much of this is true H.



Bob

Oh it's scary Bob, trust me, it's scary!

Almost had a damaged whipper snipper.


Bob

And we all know how painful a damaged Whipper Snipper can be

How do you spend your Sund'ys?
Nudie dancing in ya grundies.

PJs Allan PJs.

Bobbit

Pity it's not on video Bob, could have a winner there

I wondered if this was based on fact - "picture this"! Very amusing Bob

I was wondering how you started the job in your underwear and took off your PJs at the crisis moment.
As Columbo would say " You see my problem ? "