ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

Almost a true story Allan but I wanted to be Skip so they told me it took years to get that good so I challenged the skip to a game and only lost by two bowls a lot better then most of them had done. only ever been back once for a social game.

Bowling


I found as I was getting older playing football left me black and blue
to old to play it physical now what's a man to do.
So I thought I'd have a go at bowling on the lawns so trim and neat
it looked so quiet and peaceful yes this will do me just a treat.

I had watched them play on jack high almost every game
I reckoned with some practice I could easily do the same.
It really can't be difficult as the game looked so gentile
and they say its easily mastered, once you get the feel.

Well they really got me in mate with their talk of days devine
and a champion I'd soon become if I bowled straight down the line.
But the thing they did not tell me was the balls just don't go straight
they weight them on one side to curve, its called a bias mate.

And all those elder gentlemen who are so nice when tea they sit and sip
change when they get onto the green, they really let it rip.
My first game was against old Bill eighty-five if he's a day
and I'd been practising for weeks now and could not wait to play.

I bowled the balls so gently and I got them really close just fine
four shots I held on the first end a win would soon be mine.
Now Bill moved oh so slowly and with his walking stick would creep
I yawned while waiting for his shot and nearly went to sleep.

Bill waddled to the mat and leaned on his stick so frail
I was not certain he would make it as his heart was sure to fail.
But when he let the bowl go it was the quickest shot I'd ever seen
it smashed into the crowded head knocking mine straight off the green.

My jaw dropped slowly open and my knees started to bend
Bills ball sat next to the kitty and so he won the end.
Well that's how the game progressed mate and just what could I say
every time I looked like winning he just smashed them out the way.

But when he played a gentle shot he really put me to the test
another toucher would he mumble as against the Kate his ball would rest.
So do I really need to tell you that I lost the game that fateful day
and I've not been back to bowls again, yeah I gave the game away.

I'm back at playing football and my team mates think its great
and I've no more bowls ambitions, no I will not tempt my fate.
Cause I know by playing football all I can loose is bits of hide
so I'll leave the bowls till I get older while I've still got a bit of pride.

Bob Pacey (c)

Yes, Bob. I have given in to advancing years and taken up the game of lawn bowls.

Your poem is right on the money, except for the part about me getting my bowls near the kitty, at least to begin with. I was all over the shop

I found a club where I was far from being the youngest player, and any 'sport' that allows you to play in regular clobber and thongs will do me just fine.

And as for those cagey older bowlers, the lead on the opposing team was nearly 80 and bowled using a stick with a claw grip, and he could bowl with the best of them.

Your poem made me laugh, my friend, as quite often they do
Its bowls for me, my poetic mate. I'll leave footy to you.