ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

THE DROVERS RIDE … Maureen Clifford © The Scribbly Bark Poet


Heading North and saddle sore. The long dark road stretched on before
him , viewed red eyed through clouds of dust and tiredness.
The cattle plodded listlessly – the paddocks round, bare as could be
the muffled barks of one, two, three dogs echoing the madness
of this, his folly. Desperation drove him, he had undertaken
to go on the road to save the last of his prized herd.
Drought had bought him to his knees, banks he needed to appease
all he prayed for was “God please, a little bit of rain.”

Hanging by a thread, his future and his marriage – time to nurture
both was hard – he found he had scarce enough hours to spare.
Mistakes we make come back to bite us, dirty little secrets find us.
Who to turn too? Was he irredeemable to prayer?
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger – Could he hold a little longer?
Rainclouds taunted often with the promise of relief.
Often he had smelt the moisture, wafted on the breezes softer
and the cattle sensed it, though perhaps with disbelief.

Inner strength and fortitude would see him through and see him do
what needed to be done – he’d not give up, ‘twas not his way.
Dewy grass each morning beckoned, rain was not far off he reckoned,
mornings wrapped in misty mantles greeted him each day.
Evenings saw the sun set over valleys steep and shaly.
Sunrise over the hills was a glorious display.
Heading North and saddle sore, the long, long road stretched on before
him, far distant horizons beckoned. Surcease for his pain.

Not sure that I like the pattern of running one line onto the next Mausie very hard to pick up the tread especially when a slight rhyme is used like tiredness - madness ?

Bob

Hmmm - I 'm not sure either but trying it out - nothing ventured nothing gained

Bob Pacey wrote:Not sure that I like the pattern of running one line onto the next

Running one line onto the next is called enjambment. A full stop in the middle of the line is called a caesura. Both are traditional and well used poetic devices. Using these devices gives the poem more of the rhythm of speech; which is not the same as rhythm of metre, and makes the verse more varied and interesting.
If you talk to people like David Campbell, I suspect that you will find out that the poetry judges wish that the use of enjambment and caesura was more used to improve bush poetry writing.

Well done Maureen, nothing wrong with that. Perfect for the mood and theme.

Good word picture and a very interesting structure, Maureen.

I love enjambment and try to use it as often as I can. We have such a superb example to follow in the last verse of The Man From Snowy River. I use it to illustrate enjambment in my poetry information sessions and workshops.

And down by Kosciusko, where the pine clad ridges raise
their torn and rugged battlements on high.
Where the air is clear as crystal and the white stars fairly blaze
at midnight in the cold and frosty sky.
And where, around the Overflow, the reed beds sweep and sway
to the breezes, and the rolling plains are wide,
The Man from Snowy River is a household word today
and the stockmen tell the story of his ride.

Exquisite, isn't it?
Cheers, Shelley

I did not say that did not know what it was called Nev and my comment was in relation to Maureens poem not the use of it as a poetry tool. Yes Shelly TMFSR is a fine example but hardly comparable to Mausies post. ( No offence intended Maureen )

I wasn't sure what your objection was Bob because I have no trouble following the thread.

I just took it slowly, I didn't try to bounce along like I would with The Man from Ironbark for example. That's why I think it suits the mood and theme, makes the reader slow down and ponder the weariness of that long journey.

Oh thank you Neville - you got it. I've used enjambment before heaps of times but wasn't sure if it worked in this piece but you picked exactly what I had hoped for. It isn't a piece you can gallop through more a slow and perhaps obscure meander suits it better.

Thanks Shelley for reading and your informed comment as well

No offence taken Bob I'm not that thin skinned