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You Ain't Seen nothing Yet

Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2014 9:48 pm
by alongtimegone
There now are no lights on the Christmas Tree,
and the tinsel’s all over the floor.
We’d offered to mind young Bradley.
The little b̶a̶s̶... s̶h̶i ... boy who lived right next door.

“He’s really a good kid.” his mother said,
“Perhaps he was just overcome.
No one in our house drinks you know.
Guess that’s why he poured out your rum.”

“There’s not a bad bone in his body.” she told me.
“There’s not”? I said arching my brows.
"Then who was it got into Farmer Joe’s field
and cut the tits off all his cows?

And what of the day he tied baby and pram
to the back of his BMX wheels.
And set off at pace to the skate boarding ramps
‘Cause he loved to hear baby bro’s squeals."

“He just needs some friends.” she assured me
While untangling the chains round the cat.
“And as for his opening your aviary door,
well, he said he was sorry for that.”

I calmly suggested he might need some help.
Even offered to be his life guide.
Guess she noticed my smile and the gleam in my eye
as “Thanks, but no thanks.” she replied.

Then my wife intervened. “It’s Christmas.” she said
“Let’s sit down and have a cool drink.
You can go to the pub darl. and buy some more rum.
They’ve got it on special I think.”

Just then #&#*#@* Bradley appeared with his dog.
“Mrs Mac, Caesar loves your sponge cake.
Especially covered with chocolate and cream,
did it take you a long time to make?”

Now Bradley’s recovering startlingly well.
Though in plaster his legs are still set.
And I thought what my wife wrote was really quite apt.
Bradley “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

Wazza

Re: You Ain't Seen nothing Yet

Posted: Thu Dec 25, 2014 6:49 am
by Neville Briggs
:o makes Dennis the Menace seem tame.

Re: You Ain't Seen nothing Yet

Posted: Thu Dec 25, 2014 7:06 am
by r.magnay
:lol: good onya Wazza...(sounds like the step grandson I may have just inherited...) :roll:

Re: You Ain't Seen nothing Yet

Posted: Thu Dec 25, 2014 7:55 am
by Bob Pacey
Dates are good for kids like that Wazza !


The kicking up the rear variety.


Bob

Re: You Ain't Seen nothing Yet

Posted: Thu Dec 25, 2014 9:31 am
by Maureen K Clifford
Do so hope this is a fantasy poem Wazza and not fair dinkum - If it is - oh my - sympathies are extended :lol: be kind to the dog :(

Re: You Ain't Seen nothing Yet

Posted: Thu Dec 25, 2014 9:02 pm
by Terry
I'm sure I've met that boy somewhere Wazza,
do you know if they've ever visited the west.

Terry

Re: You Ain't Seen nothing Yet

Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2014 7:11 am
by Ron
The neighbour from hell Wazza! :twisted: :twisted:

Ron

Re: You Ain't Seen nothing Yet

Posted: Sat Jan 03, 2015 2:50 pm
by alongtimegone
Thanks everyone.
Completely fictional Maureen although many years ago a neighbour of mine had a son like that. When she wanted to get him off the street she would call from the balcony "If you come now I'll let you play with the matches."
Wazza