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STRAINED RELATIONS

Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 9:37 pm
by Glenny Palmer
I was prowling through some very old files & fell over this one from way back. It ended up being a collaboration between my ex hubby, Big Al Palmer, & moi.....after I came back home...following another one of our 'blues.' Funny days indeed.....(in hindsight. Lol.) From memory I think he actually won a humorous performance section with it...in Eulo. :lol: :lol:


“STRAINED RELATIONS” ©’99 Big Al Palmer

My brain is all scrambled, my head’s had enough,
she’s yappin’ and naggin’ ‘bout some flamin’ stuff,
relationships, yeah, that’s what she’s on about,
I’m locked in the bedroom, she won’t let me out.

She says I’m insensitive,...”bullshit!” I said,
don’t I let her cook brekky, and sleep in my bed?
She says I don’t listen,..."eh? what’s that you say,
can you turn up the telly, move out of the way?"

She reckons she’s housebound, I don’t take her out,
don’t I let her come fishing and watch me catch trout?
Those anti-depressants she reckons they’re grouse,
tell me, what’s so depressing with me in the house?

Now she wants a toy-boy… try Captain James Kirk,
he’s never at home, and he don’t go to work!
She wants some romancing, well turn it up chum,
it was only last week she got pinched on the...bottom.

Gawd strewth, now she’s crying, I’ve done it again,
oh, why can’t these sheilas be more like us men?
If someone insults us we just knock ‘em out,
get stuck into Bundy, and Fourex, and stout.

I offered her roses but still I am cursed,
she told me to shove ‘em… the thorny end first!
She said she was leaving by taxi today,
and really got mad when I offered to pay.

Our counsellor says love grows fonder apart,
(at least when I sleep in my bed I could far...get all my
troubles.)
We both need a break from the heartache and tears,
a short one will do...about forty five years.

It’s all got to change so I’m taking control,
we’ll see who’s the boss, (when I get off the dole.)
I’m a hunter, a warrior, coolest of cools,
when I come home tonight I’ll be changing the rules.

She opens the door and I look in her eyes,
my heart turns to mush, my conviction it dies,
my legs go to rubber, I take off my hat,
she’s so sweet when she says, "wipe your feet on the mat!"

So I take out the rubbish and hose out the bin,
and I pick up my clothes off the floor with a grin,
I ask myself what all this fighting’s about,
and why I come back every time I’ve cleared out.

When it’s all said and done, at the end of the day,
a bloke is a hero to her, in his way,
I’m her lackey, her lover, her punching bag too,
but I’m all out of answers mate, how about you?

Re: STRAINED RELATIONS

Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 6:28 am
by Neville Briggs
I'm sure you've mellowed since then.....but then again ? :lol:

Re: STRAINED RELATIONS

Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 6:52 am
by Heather
Should have accepted the roses Glenny! :lol:

Re: STRAINED RELATIONS

Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 5:31 pm
by manfredvijars
:D ... thorny end first ?????? .. :lol:

Re: STRAINED RELATIONS

Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 7:34 pm
by Glenny Palmer
Neville....everything's relative my friend.......... ;)

Heather....I did!...but from croc......
image0066.jpg
(couldn't afford the others. Lol)

Mannie........ the only effective way mate........... :lol:

Re: STRAINED RELATIONS

Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 6:56 pm
by alongtimegone
I read it once Glenny, then read it again
Such an honest description of most married men. ;)

Wazza

PS This is a quickie I wont ask my wife Robbie for ... proof reading I mean. :lol:
50 years married tomorrow.

Re: STRAINED RELATIONS

Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2014 9:03 pm
by Glenny Palmer
...best send me your recipe Wazza :lol: Congratulations to you both!
Cheeers

Re: STRAINED RELATIONS

Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 10:55 am
by alongtimegone
Being partially deaf helps at times Glenny. :)
Wazza

Re: STRAINED RELATIONS

Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 12:19 pm
by Terry
Hi Glenny
I'm one of the lucky ones and admit I've been spoiled. (now there's a word you don't hear often now-a-days)
My wife is probably the long suffering one.

Terry

Re: STRAINED RELATIONS

Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 6:38 pm
by Bob Pacey
My wife seems to be completely happy never complains and always lets me do everything that I want, only problem is she is living with another sucker. lol


Bob