ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

Well done Heather, I love it.

Someone on a promise ?


The air rhyme in the last and first verse just seemed to jump out at me H ? I do not know why.

But well constructed and just rolls along nicly

Bob

Thank you Neville. I was going through my old poems yesterday and this was an old homework topic (about four years old) and I ripped it to shreds and it now has no resemblance to the original. I like this one better. It's given me some other ideas too.

Dunno Bob, it kinda wrote itself and once I realised I'd done it, I was emotionally attached to the first rhyme. You know how it is.

First poem in six months. Geez it feels good.

Nice one, Heather.

Yep, concise and thought-provoking.

David

Thanks Stephen and David, I appreciate you commenting. Don't think too much, it's just a bit of whimsy.



When I wrote it, it was arranged like so:

Tomorrow is a promise, it’s the gossip in the air;
it’s the ink upon the nib, it’s the near but never there.

Tomorrow is a promise, it’s a taste upon the tongue;
it’s the love beyond our reach, it’s a song we haven't sung.

Do you think it makes a difference?


Heather

Heather wrote:it's just a bit of whimsy.

Now cut that out !!

What do you mean? I'd like to be whimsical. Or do you think it is deep and meaningful? It's a bit of both I suppose.