ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

I think it is a good idea to try a brief poem, There is a short form which you could try for this theme, the triolet.The triolet is 8 lines and the rhyme is
A
B
a
A
b
A
B.

The A & B are repeated, usually exactly but not necessarily. So to do it for yours you could start like this.

Packing crates and palings mark the place of their demise.
row on row across the tortured soil.
.....................................( line to rhyme with ise )
Packing crates and palings mark the place of their demise,
........................................( line to rhyme with ise )
.........................................( line to rhyme with soil )
Packing crates and palings mark the place of their demise,
row on row across the tortured soil.

By coming back to the repeats it makes it more complete. I think. And of course the lines to be put in should make some sort of continuation of the sense, not just disconnected to the other lines, so to do that you may need to alter the repeats slightly.

You may wish to ignore my suggestion. As you wish.

Never "rising to see the morning skies"
is a far more poignant ending than ...
"... not facing the toil"

IMHO ...
(Sorry Sue )

M.

OK

I have written some poetry that I would call a Toilet ! Nev





Bob

Yep I like this version as well Marty would be nice in a frame imprinted over the picture.

Very nice Bob. You must be flushed with pride.

Very Drained really Nev ! Touche



Bob

Perhaps it is suitable as lyrics for music by a chamber orchestra.