Packing crates and palings

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Neville Briggs
Posts: 6946
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:08 pm
Location: Here

Re: Packing crates and palings

Post by Neville Briggs » Fri Oct 11, 2013 2:16 pm

There' yr go Marty. A bit easier to see the whole scene. ( But the inscription can't be read, I guess that's what you wanted )

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Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

mummsie
Posts: 1062
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 11:33 am
Location: Tumut, NSW

Re: Packing crates and palings

Post by mummsie » Fri Oct 11, 2013 8:39 pm

I much prefer this version Marty. It just seems to roll off the tongue, where as the second version is not so easy for the reader to comprehend. Just my thoughts for what there worth.
Just a few lines but very powerful. Well done.
Sue
the door is always open, the kettles always on, my shoulders here to cry on, i'll not judge who's right or wrong.

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