Santa's Big Dilemma

[Stephen Whiteside]

Santa’s Big Dilemma

© Stephen Whiteside 19.10.10

Now, Santa reads the newspapers, just like you and me.
They’re not delivered every day, but more erratically.
In summer they come weekly, but winter is less sure.
It might be sev’ral months between those knockings on his door.

But when he saw this headline, well, it prompted many fears:

“The poles will have no ice in summer-time in thirty years.”
You might not see his problem, but he saw it in a trice.
The North Pole has no land, you see, beneath that sheet of ice.

So if the ice should melt away, put simply as can be,
Santa and his elves would end up bobbing in the sea.
The South Pole is quite diff’rent, though. There’s heaps and heaps of land
On which a man or elf, in spite of lack of ice, could stand.

The answer, then, was simple. If he chose to keep his home
At a pole of planet Earth, then far south he’d have to roam;
Far, far south, the farthest south, as south as south can get,
Or else he and his entourage would wind up very wet!

But when to go? And how to go? And what to take, as well?
He had so many questions, but the answers, who could tell?
Thirty years. He had some time, but soon they would be past.
He didn’t want to leave it to a scramble at the last.

Grateful for the warning, he would make a proper plan.
He’d stand up straight and tall and face his problems like a man.
He wouldn’t dilly dally, and he’d not procrastinate,
And he wouldn’t leave too early, but he wouldn’t stay too late!

But his poor head started spinning. Oh, his problems they were tricky.
He couldn’t read a text book and he couldn’t turn to Wiki.
He couldn’t ask the president. He couldn’t ring the queen.
He was Santa, magic Santa, and no problems could be seen!

And then he thought, “Why move at all? Great Scott! I must be daft!
There is no need to flee my home. I’ll simply build a raft.
I’ll set the little elves to work. They’ll take no time at all.
Of course, I’ll need some anchor chains to hold it in a squall.

“We can’t go crashing into Greenland. That would not look good.
Nobody wants Santa living in their neighbourhood.
Alas, the Arctic Ocean’s deep - at least 4,000 metres,
And now I see my plan upon the brink of failure teeters!


“I cannot ask the elves to build a set of chains that long,
Not mentioning the anchors, which must be extremely strong.
No, no. I see it clearly now. A raft will not suffice!
I’ll have to find another way to beat the melting ice.

“And so, it seems, I cannot move, and yet I cannot stay.
What, then, is the answer? Can there be another way?
I feel it isn’t up to me. It’s more than I can bear.
I think it’s up to other people. How much do they care?

“Do they want to threaten Santa? Are they game to pay that price?
Will they simply stand by idle at the melting of the ice?
Or will they take some action to prevent this global warming?
And as I sit and ponder in my head a notion’s forming.

“I have come to know these people. They have more than earned my trust.
I know they won’t desert me. I will stay here as I must.
I will not leave the North Pole. It has always been my home,
And I don’t think I’d be Santa if I found the need to roam,

“And I’ll just keep on believing that the ice will always stay,
And not believe in summer it will ever melt away.
I have given many presents. I’ll stay calm. I will not fret.
It’s time that the recipients repaid in part the debt,

“And I’m sure that they will do it. They would never let me down.
They wouldn’t let poor Santa and his reindeer sink and drown.
They will do what is required. They will halt the melt of ice,
And I’ll stay here at the North Pole, ‘cause it’s cosy, and it’s nice.”

[Neville Briggs]

A well written peom Stephen. Two of the great fantasys of our time, Santa and Global Warming Catastrophe.


Neville

[Stephen Whiteside]

You surprise me, Neville. I always pictured you as a bit of a pinko!

[Neville Briggs]

You should see me at the beach..pinko is right

[Bellobazza]

Great poem, Stephen...
A novel subject with a twist (SOS...Save Our Santa) and really well constructed. It gets you in and pulls you along all the way through. Some would treat this as a 'throw-away' piece and perhaps not worry to much about rhyme and meter, but you have obviously not lowered your usual high standards just because it's a light-hearted piece.
It would be very entertaining, I think, to be able to listen in on your thought processes. You certainly seem to have a unique view of the world.

Cheers, Will.

[Leonie]

Stephen your poems never disappoint, and this one is no exception. Love it.