The Fly, the Fish, the Bear, the Hunter, the Mouse and the C

[Stephen Whiteside]

There's been discussion elsewhere concerning the inadvisability of building poems around old jokes. Generally, I'd agree, but I'd like to think there are exceptions. I found this poem a great challenge to write, but it was also a lot of fun, and it has been well received.



The Fly, the Fish, the Bear, the Hunter, the Mouse and the Cat

© Stephen Whiteside 2009

In the river swam a fish, gazing at the sky,
Following the movements of a big, black, juicy fly.
“If that fly should drop six inch, I’ll have a tasty snack.
I’ll slowly swim in circles, getting ready to attack.”

Upon the bank there stood a bear, staring at the fish.
His mouth began to water at the thought of such a dish.
“If that fish should chance to leap, I’ll grab it in my maw.
What a lovely afternoon it seems I have in store.”

Beside the river hid a hunter, eyes upon the bear.
Seldom had he ever seen a prize so rich and rare.
“If that bear should grab a fish, I’ll have him in my sights.
I’ll pump a bullet in him, and I’ll soon put out his lights.”

Near the hunter lay a mouse. He goggled at the lunch
That the hunter, waiting for the bear, had just begun to munch.
“If the hunter stands and shoots, his food will likely slip.
Upon that hunk of tasty cheese I’m sure to get a grip.”

Farther still, behind a bush, there crouched a hungry cat.
He watched the dainty little mouse, and dreamt of getting fat.
“If that mouse should grab that cheese, I swear I will not pause.
I’ll pounce, and trap him firmly underneath my steely claws.”

Six inches dropped the big black fly. Like lightning leapt the fish.
The bear lurched forward slightly, and the hunter got his wish.
The mousey leapt upon the cheese, his nostrils all a-quiver.
Alas, the cat mistimed his leap, and landed in the river!

The moral to this story (if you have not got it yet!):
Each time a fly should fall six inch, a pussy ends up wet!

[Bob Pacey]

Well done Stephen, I really don't think others realise the effort that goes into making the story or joke fit and keep it in an entertaining format.


When I first started dabbling in rhyme I found that the really old readers digest sections were a really good source of clean and entertaining stories when inspiration was lacking. The exercise of converting them to rhyme provided a good grounding and the fact that they proved to be entertaining as well was a bonus. Some of those I still use today depending on the audience.


Cheers Bob

[Bob Pacey]

All part of knowing your audience Marty, sure there will be times when you make the wrong decision about what poem to perform but that is part of the challenge of performance almost like forgetting the words and just as embarrassing.

I can see where there may be a problem in comps but that is for the judges to decide when it is claimed as original.


Ps Note to Bob "don't do your prostate poem for a Probus group reply too bloody late " Clanger "


Bob

[Stephen Whiteside]

I'm sure it is an old joke, but it was new to me. A friend told me she was trying to put it into verse, and I decided to have a crack myself. It certainly felt like an exercise in originality at the time. I suppose if somebody provides a new musical arrangement of an old tune, it's still regarded as an exercise in originality. That's certainly the view APRA takes. Perhaps the analogy is fair.

[r.magnay]

...well Stephen, There are not too many jokes that have got passed me over the last fourty odd years, but I must admit, that one has....(sorry Jim if you are listening)...anyway. I liked it!....I do agree with Marty.....I just didn't know this was an old joke!.....

[Stephen Whiteside]

Thanks, Ross. There are quite a few characters here, so the key seemed to be to set it up giving each a verse, another verse for the action, and a couple of lines at the end for the tag.

[Dave Smith]

Yeah Blokes that's an oldie been around the traps for as long as I can remember but most of the endings are a bit near the knuckle and not at all moderate like yours Stephen.

TTFN