ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

True story, honest. It happened yesterday.

The naming ceremony.
Leonie Parker © 2010

They held a ceremony on the baby’s naming day
and invited all their friends and family.
Jayla is quite fortunate for in the modern way
instead of just two grandies she has three.

The mother’s parents still are wed but father’s kin have split
and both of them have other partners now.
Although Grandmother Lee found someone else she would admit
she still thinks Poppy Wayne’s wife is a cow.

She can’t help her feelings but she tries hard not to show
that there is still a small resentment there.
And really who could blame her, ‘cause her husband hit the toe
with his current wife (they had a long affair).

But everyone was civilised on Jayla’s naming day.
They acted pretty friendly overall.
The ceremony went without a hitch in any way
until the celebrant made one last call.

She asked the witnesses to sign, and each one took a turn,
but someone got the order switched I guess.
I don’t know how it happened but the celebrant’s concern
soon changed from mere vexation to distress.

Her piece of paper now said that the second wife was wed
to Grandma Lee’s new partner, not the ex.
And if that wasn’t bad enough more trouble lay ahead.
It all got so much worse, much more complex.

Seems Grandma Lee’s now married up to Adam (he’s her son)
and Poppy Wayne’s bewildered by it all.
Grandma Lee says “Blimey, she just pinched another one.
Does she think I’m a bloomin’ shopping mall?”

Adam wonders if this makes him Jayla’s grandad too
as well as uncle. - He tells Grandma Lee,
“I think I have a problem Mum ‘cause since I married you,
the second wife has got her eye on me.”

Ooooh incest in Ipswich - you naughty girl....other than that I take it the day went well?

How I wish I had been a fly on the wall - glad you got some mileage out of it.

Cheers
Maureen

Sounds to me like things are done different up there in the tropics!

Very funny Leonie. I bet you enjoyed writing that one.

Heather

Hmmmm, sounds like an interesting family!!!
But sounds like you had an enjoyable day also!
Did the baby get a name after all that???

Catchya
IRene

To be honest Leonie, it makes me want to cry.

Hi all, it happened up at Glasshouse Mountains, we can't blame Ippie for this one. I felt sorry for the celebrant and my daughter-in-law they were mortified. The first disaster was when they inflated the helium balloons too early (there was going to be a balloon release at the end of the ceremony) and they all deflated before anyone got there. Mum came to the rescue with that one after a frantic phone call to pick up some more helium on the way, but the shop I had to pick it up from didn't open til 10 so the ceremony had to be held back til we got there. Then there was this stuff up. My little group including the baby's Dad, (my son), were in stitches we thought it was funny and let's face it people when the second wife ended up married to Alan on the forms who could have resisted the crack about her stealing another one. I promise only Alan heard me say it, I just whispered to him something about wasn't she satisfied with the first one and had to steal him too and he fell about. Adam wanted to know what I said and it all went from there. The three of us were falling about laughing, and then Adam threw in that last bit about she would be after him next seeing he was now married to me, and we were undone. I'm sure the rest of the people there thought we had all gone stark raving mad because they didn't know the whole story or what Adam and I had said to set us off.

It could have been a really 'looong' poem and who knows one day it might be extended to include the deflating balloons and Choppa the rottweiller who snuck up on the photographer, plus a couple of other funny things that happened, but that's it for now, actually it really was a great day and the beautiful little girl was officially named and the balloons released.