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Holding Hands And Country Walks

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 2:39 pm
by Heather

Re: Holding Hands And Country Walks

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 3:26 pm
by Neville Briggs
Very sad Heather, very sad. Well written but it's a heartache. We wish it didin't have to be like that, believe me I know.

Re: Holding Hands And Country Walks

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 3:30 pm
by Maureen K Clifford
Sadly Heather going back and trying to restart doesn't seem to work - trust is the key, you might lose it and get another one but it never seems to work as well as that first familiar worn key did. Fact of life. :(

Beautifully written the short phrases seem to suit the mood.

Cheers

Maureen

Re: Holding Hands And Country Walks

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 4:32 pm
by mummsie
Well written Heather, thanks for sharing.

Sue

Re: Holding Hands And Country Walks

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 8:27 pm
by Heather
Thanks Neville, Maureen and Sue. Don't get too hung up on the "personal" aspect of the poem. I was working on a concept - change over time - hence each stanza ends in a line that is another way of saying time passes. Then, in the last stanza, regret, too late too turn back time - or is it?

Heather :)

Re: Holding Hands And Country Walks

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 8:44 pm
by Bob Pacey
Jaunty and sort of upbeat which seems to suit.

Couple of things did you leave out in with

making love the afternoons ?

and wedding bands ?

Not sure I like the use of demands - sands ? it is what they call a half rhyme ?

still good to see you having a go at something different.

Cheers Bob

Re: Holding Hands And Country Walks

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:12 pm
by Heather
That third line was a tricky one Bob. Making love in afternoons just didn't sound like a full sentence. I know the other isn't perfect either but putting Making love in the afternoons messes up the metre - and we couldn't have that could we? ;) Gosh, now I'm blushing! :oops:

Wedding banns is correct. In the "old" days, the church used to read out the "banns" before a wedding took place. From memory - (not that I was there, just that I've read about it) - the notice of the wedding was announced for three consecutive Sundays before the wedding. It was the old version of "any objections". Except that, if you were very much in a hurry you could skip the banns and pay the pastor a little extra to get married quickly! Money always talks. :) See I knew my knowledge of history would come in handy one day. :lol:

Re: Holding Hands And Country Walks

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:48 pm
by Bob Pacey
Never Never Never argue with a woman you would think I would have learned my lesson by now.

How about Love making in afternoons ??

Not that it is something i know a lot about a lot of but yes it is all in the metre ?

Yes I looked up banns it is an interesting subject . From Scotland ( Heather ).

Bob

Re: Holding Hands And Country Walks

Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2011 10:17 pm
by Henry Snicklesnorter
Well done - and so true for many. I don't see it as sad, just a part of life. We pick ourselves up and go on. :)

Re: Holding Hands And Country Walks

Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 6:28 am
by warooa
I like the style, Heather. And agree with Mr Snicklesnorter - it's life . . on we go. And for what it's worth I'm happy with 'making love the afternoons' too. ;)

Cheers, Marty