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Re: HAVE YOU?

Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 12:06 pm
by Zondrae
G'da Trisha,

Very powerful piece. I'm sure most of us have had to try to show a stiff upper lip to the world at some time.

I hope that you don't mind but it is my intention to come up with an answer to this one... I be back shortly.

Re: HAVE YOU?

Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 12:29 pm
by Zondrae
OK that didn't take long

Thanks Trisha for inspiring this one. I haven't checked the metre etc. but we know this is not the type of poem that we would send to a comp (so I'll check it later). I'm off to have a nanny nap. Still recovering.


In Silence
© Zondrae King (Corrimal) 11/10

Have you listened, in the darkness,
as if waiting for a voice
that would tell you of the reason
that you loved one was God’s choice?

Did you pray, in desperation
with out knowing what to say
then a thought came in on silent
wings to guide you on your way.

Was the thought the voice of reason
telling you that all is well
for your loved one lead a good life
and there’s no such thing as hell.

Was it you providing answers
or did you, at last, connect
to the God who speak in silence
and at times we least expect?

Did He whisper “I am with you”?
give you shelter from the storm
of confusion that was brewing.
Do you now feel safe and warm.

Re: HAVE YOU?

Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 1:38 pm
by Heather
A powerful poem to make you think Trisha. A lovely response Zondrae.

Heather :)

Re: HAVE YOU?

Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:16 pm
by Trisha Patterson
Hi Zondrae,
Glad my poem inspired you! No reason those poems could not be entered in a comp. You would just need to find the right one!

Thanks Heather!

Trisha

Re: HAVE YOU?

Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:31 pm
by Neville Briggs
That's good work Trish, the use of the repeats is very effective, and that sort of pattern is a traditional form. Doesn't need rhyming :o because the repeated phrases give sufficient structure.

When they make me a judge Zondrae :lol: you can put that one in my comp and I'll give it good marks.( as long as you fix the typos )



Neville

Re: HAVE YOU?

Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 6:52 pm
by Zondrae
Sorry Neville,

I did rush it a bit.

Re: HAVE YOU?

Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 10:56 pm
by Terry
G/day Trish & Zondrae,

They are both excellent poems that I really enjoyed.

Cheers Terry

Re: HAVE YOU?

Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:42 am
by Trisha Patterson
Hi Terry,
Glad you enjoyed the read/s!
Trisha

Re: HAVE YOU?

Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:51 am
by Maureen K Clifford
Applause Ladies - well done - now if you two got together and intermingled these poems as a collaborative piece - seeing as to how you think that they are not suitable ???? for comps - well what a truly wonderful and powerful poem you would have then.

Cheers

Maureen

Re: HAVE YOU?

Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:56 am
by Trisha Patterson
Hi Maureen,
Thankyou!
But "I" didnt say they wouldn't be suitable! That was Zondrae's comment!

Regards
Trisha