FISHING

[Maureen K Clifford]

FISHING


The boat rocked on the water, he watched lazily
He recalled there were plenty of fish in the sea,
He watched swooping seagulls dive bombing the ocean,
children building sand castles – had they a notion
of Dads philosophy – ‘when in trouble and strife
you’re just one tiny pebble on beaches of life.’

A bright flash of light quickly drew his attention
to cliff hangers climbing – defying convention
as upward they struggled over cliff faces steep,
and their safety depended on thin ropes to keep
then from plummeting downwards to sharp rocks below;
but not for a minute did they falter or slow.

He sat quietly pondering the life that he’d led
It had been pretty good – it was just like Dad said.
‘You come in with the tide and you go with the flow,
and you help where you can – for you never will know
if one day you’ll need saving - and hands will reach out,
so never be afraid to share your self about.

For as the good book tells you – you reap what you sow,
and if you sow anger – then prepare for the blow;
but sow the seeds of kindness, compassion and love
and a bounty of blessings will come from above.’
He looked to the heavens - “I remember indeed,
best I get back to fishing Dad – people to feed.”


Maureen Clifford © 11/10

[Heather]

A poem with a moral - lovely Maureen. Especially love the line ‘You come in with the tide and you go with the flow,

Heather

[Neville Briggs]

I like that one Maureen. You have done very well at weaving the sense around the metre and keeping the rhyming as a quiet support. I think that takes a lot of skill.
The style suits the theme perfectly.

[Jasper Brush]

G'day, young poetry mate.

You have a strange arrangement here.

Has anyone noticed the last couple of lines in each verse.

It goes. Dum Dum Dum Dum (first line)extended

dim dim dim dim (second line). You must read quickly.

There is no need to go into the moralistic virtues.

The poem is an adventurous story with dad.

And lets get on with the fishing...

True?

No flaws in the rendition.


John

[Maureen K Clifford]

Neville - Have I

Jasper - Does it Ooh just realized you called me young How nice

Heather - thank you - at least I know what I did with you

I just thought I had written a poem with 12 syllables per line - never looked further than that. Just baited the hook and threw it in and seems I caught a minnow, a flying fish and I suspect a dim dim dim whale?

Cheers

Maureen

[Zondrae]

G'day Maureen,

It is those dashed stresses that Jasper is referring to. Some are soft and some are hard.
Along with an equal (or patterned) amount of syllables (or beats) in each line - the stress pattern must be consistent throughout.

the boat rocked on the wa ter, he watched la zi ly
He re called there were plen ty of fish in the sea.

Let us begin by forgetting it is a poem! If we were just having a conversation is this something like we would sound? Some words have their own intrinsic stress. eg plenty/ we never say plenty do we. so in a poem we know that 'plen 'is the hard stress and 'ty' is soft. (amen .............. that is two equally stressed syllables.. oh Zondrae, be quiet and go to bed.)

I'll never get it right.. I bend them to suit my need and then can't see the forest for the trees. (for est = hard, soft)

[Maureen K Clifford]

Never mind Zondrae I just think I talk funny - see I like my little --- use them all the time and they all get written the same way so must disagree and just call them medium - and didn't actually know they counted as anything, actually thought they were calorie free - never mind.

Anyway I just loosely based my fishing story on the Loaves and Fishes parable - very loosely, so if I did good that's good, if I did bad that's sad. I just do what I do most of the time and usually I do it in rhyme.

Cheers

Maureen