In the interests in broadening our horizons, this section is devoted to verse which falls outside the parameters of rhyme and metre, such as blank verse and free verse. Registered users are welcome to post their original works here.
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Wendy Seddon
Posts: 437
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 5:20 pm
Location: Medowie NSW

Re: Entreaty

Post by Wendy Seddon » Fri May 06, 2016 7:07 pm

No Bob, empty nester here....the photo I had as a profile pic are my grandchildren.
but - thank you for the compliment! (I think!)
"All appears to change when we change." - Henri-Frederic Amiel

Neville Briggs
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Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:08 pm
Location: Here

Re: Entreaty

Post by Neville Briggs » Fri May 06, 2016 8:13 pm

That's a very interesting way of setting out the verse. :) And a strong message. And when you get on a bit like me ;) you'll discover that you become an invisible person, redundant, surplus to requirements in a lot of things about the place. :)
Last edited by Neville Briggs on Fri May 06, 2016 9:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

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Shelley Hansen
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Joined: Sun May 04, 2014 5:39 pm
Location: Maryborough, Queensland

Re: Entreaty

Post by Shelley Hansen » Fri May 06, 2016 10:31 pm

Intriguing verse, Wendy. I really like the second set of words forming a poem in their own right. Very powerful.

I also like the verse you quoted about time. My favourite on that subject is Rudyard Kipling ...

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
with sixty seconds worth of distance run
Yours is the world and everything that's in it
And what is more - you'll be a man, my son.

Closely followed by Thomas Mordaunt ...

Sound, sound the clarion! Fill the fife!
Throughout the glorious world proclaim
One crowded hour of glorious life
Is worth an age without a name.

Or, as Slim Dusty put it ...

I'd rather be a "has-been" than a "never-was-at-all"!! :D

Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

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Maureen K Clifford
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Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast

Re: Entreaty

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Fri May 06, 2016 11:18 pm

That's wonderful Wendy I really like it ... and like Bob I also thought you had recently added a new baby to your family ...I guess you beauty cream is working really well :lol: You don't look anywhere near old enough to be a grandma.

I also like the poem within the poem but did find that a bit distracting as well - how about using lower case Italics in a different colour... would that work do you think? Just a thought
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