Far Horizons

In the interests in broadening our horizons, this section is devoted to verse which falls outside the parameters of rhyme and metre, such as blank verse and free verse. Registered users are welcome to post their original works here.
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Shelley Hansen
Posts: 2016
Joined: Sun May 04, 2014 5:39 pm
Location: Maryborough, Queensland
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Re: Far Horizons

Post by Shelley Hansen » Thu May 05, 2016 5:36 pm

Certainly it doesn't waste words now, Terry!!

Forgive my lack of knowledge - but would it be better leaving the "all those years ago" till your last verse? Also if you break the last line "and you my love" into two - it gives you the option to repeat "my love" at the end of each verse. Or is that too structured??

I see it now
our old campsite.
A patched up tent
shady trees
and you
my love

Cheers
Shelley
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

Terry
Posts: 3011
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:53 pm

Re: Far Horizons

Post by Terry » Thu May 05, 2016 8:13 pm

G/day Matt

You've gone into my little black book mate - can't wait to get you out in the Mulga somewhere - as long as you can't run too fast.

Cheers

Terry

Terry
Posts: 3011
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:53 pm

Re: Far Horizons

Post by Terry » Thu May 05, 2016 8:47 pm

After numerous false starts over the last couple of years I hope to head north at the end of the month, including a bit of swinging along the way.

Cheers

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