Page 1 of 1

THE WARATAH

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 6:36 am
by Cropduster
THE WARATAH

Launched skyward,
a colony of fiery red stamen
huddle together
in the cockpit
of a most splendid rocket.
Feather bedded by rose coloured petals,
in glorious sunlight they settle
and glow.
The waratah blooms,
one assumes
that they know their splendour,
their place
as they launch into space.
The rouge coloured face
of Australian flora.

Copyright (c) Allan Cropper April 2015

Re: THE WARATAH

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 8:27 am
by Bob Pacey
Can not seem to pick up the rhyming pattern of this Allan ? I assume that if in the second line should be of ?


Bob

Re: THE WARATAH

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:14 am
by Cropduster
Thanks Bob - correction made

No rhyme, nor reason to this piece - just written as it came out.

Hardly bush poetry, I know

Re: THE WARATAH

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 9:22 pm
by Maureen K Clifford
Works for me - I like it Allan - I like those opening lines - innovative.

Re: THE WARATAH

Posted: Wed May 06, 2015 8:14 am
by Neville Briggs
I beg indulgence Allen. I thought your piece seemed a bit abrupt in a mood for contemplation of a flower. I wondered if it might work like this.

Launched skyward,
a colony of red stamen huddle together
in the cockpit of a most splendid rocket.

Feather bedded by rose coloured petals,
in glorious sunlight they settle and glow.

The Waratah blooms, one assumes
that they know their splendour , their place

as they launch into space
the rouge coloured face of Australian flora.


Apologies for rewriting, it's just to set out my thoughts on metre. Contrary to some beliefs free verse is still subject to metric consideration, I am convinced that line endings are a vital construct in all poetry, they have an effect on the mood and rhythm.

Re: THE WARATAH

Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2015 12:49 pm
by Glenny Palmer
Nice..... :D