WA Bush Poets & Yarnspinners Assn
2013 State Championships
Written Results
OPEN Section
1st Place
Martin Pattie, Qld “The Dying”
Very Highly Commended
David Campbell, Vic. “A Last Goodbye”
Peter Blyth, W.A. “West Coast Vultures”
Highly Commended
Brenda Joy, Qld “Secrets of the Desert”
Peter Blyth, W.A. “A Copper’s Job”
Terry Piggott, W.A. “Would You Say Hullo to Dad”
Commended
Irene Conner, W.A. “Children Living Underground”
NOVICE Section
1st Place
Jem Shortland, W.A. Down the Aisle
2nd Place
Jem Shortland, W.A. “Mitch”
WA Chanpionships Written Results
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Terry
- Posts: 3334
- Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:53 pm
WA Chanpionships Written Results - Judges Report
JUDGE’S REPORT. WABP 2013 Written Poetry Awards.
I found that there was quite a good standard of entries, even in the Novice section. However, as is quite commonly seen in competition entries, the demon of inconsistent meter was present. Many poems had great potential, only to be let down by glitches in this area. I applaud the efforts of those who are struggling to tame this beast but encourage them to ‘keep-on-keeping-on.’ Practice, and implementation of qualified suggested adaptions will see you win out in the end.
Some poems were pristine in their correct use of meter but still failed to ‘work.’ And this is because it is essential to have the stresses fall upon the correct syllable in a word, or all of your efforts at metric excellence will count for nought. Eg: The word ‘upon’ is pronounced as ‘upON.’ If the writer places this word to require its being pronounced as ‘UPon’, not only does that sound ridiculous but it is ‘forcing the meter’ and will never pass muster in any credible competition. Hopefully this little tip may clear the confusion that many poets feel when they know their poem is metrically correct, but not succeeding.
I also found an unusually high incidence of capitalizing each and every line. Poetry is diminished by this practice, which I believe was officially dismissed as ‘allowable’ in 1938. Unlike prose, where each new line requires capitalization, to do so when writing verse sees a capital letter in the middle of a ‘sentence’ which is clearly undesirable. To manage this in your pc, go to your word programme ‘properties’ and untick ‘Capitalise Each New Line.’ nb. I make no formal penalty for this usage, but it does have a negative impact upon the reading enjoyment of the poem.
I think it is widely known how much I abhor punctuated contractions. Eg ‘‘myst’ry’’ We are wordsmiths. Find another word! Because Australians are notorious for dropping syllables in our everyday vernacular, where I can see the author’s intention for a 2 or 3 syllable pronunciation (in ‘mystery’ for instance) I will allow the full word. But never when the word is butchered into a contraction. Other judges may have a different view, but why risk it?
THE WINNING POEM:
‘The Dying’ is a very powerfully conveyed work on a somewhat brutal aspect of our society. The sad, but very real impact of battle upon our servicemen, was very well conveyed, with the emotional pace being fully maintained to the thought provoking conclusion. The meter was consistent throughout, with a very clever vertical internal rhyme There is one incidence of profanity in the poem, which may raise some eyebrows, but the subject matter is brutal, and so I found this word’s usage appropriate to the poem. There are several, almost inconsequential ‘glitches’ in the poem, but its consistently sustained impact far over-rides these minor issues. I congratulate the author on his/her emotional insight, and a brave and fine commentary on a very topical social issue that requires long overdue reform.
I thank you all for entrusting your poems to my scrutiny, and I wish you all every future success.
I found that there was quite a good standard of entries, even in the Novice section. However, as is quite commonly seen in competition entries, the demon of inconsistent meter was present. Many poems had great potential, only to be let down by glitches in this area. I applaud the efforts of those who are struggling to tame this beast but encourage them to ‘keep-on-keeping-on.’ Practice, and implementation of qualified suggested adaptions will see you win out in the end.
Some poems were pristine in their correct use of meter but still failed to ‘work.’ And this is because it is essential to have the stresses fall upon the correct syllable in a word, or all of your efforts at metric excellence will count for nought. Eg: The word ‘upon’ is pronounced as ‘upON.’ If the writer places this word to require its being pronounced as ‘UPon’, not only does that sound ridiculous but it is ‘forcing the meter’ and will never pass muster in any credible competition. Hopefully this little tip may clear the confusion that many poets feel when they know their poem is metrically correct, but not succeeding.
I also found an unusually high incidence of capitalizing each and every line. Poetry is diminished by this practice, which I believe was officially dismissed as ‘allowable’ in 1938. Unlike prose, where each new line requires capitalization, to do so when writing verse sees a capital letter in the middle of a ‘sentence’ which is clearly undesirable. To manage this in your pc, go to your word programme ‘properties’ and untick ‘Capitalise Each New Line.’ nb. I make no formal penalty for this usage, but it does have a negative impact upon the reading enjoyment of the poem.
I think it is widely known how much I abhor punctuated contractions. Eg ‘‘myst’ry’’ We are wordsmiths. Find another word! Because Australians are notorious for dropping syllables in our everyday vernacular, where I can see the author’s intention for a 2 or 3 syllable pronunciation (in ‘mystery’ for instance) I will allow the full word. But never when the word is butchered into a contraction. Other judges may have a different view, but why risk it?
THE WINNING POEM:
‘The Dying’ is a very powerfully conveyed work on a somewhat brutal aspect of our society. The sad, but very real impact of battle upon our servicemen, was very well conveyed, with the emotional pace being fully maintained to the thought provoking conclusion. The meter was consistent throughout, with a very clever vertical internal rhyme There is one incidence of profanity in the poem, which may raise some eyebrows, but the subject matter is brutal, and so I found this word’s usage appropriate to the poem. There are several, almost inconsequential ‘glitches’ in the poem, but its consistently sustained impact far over-rides these minor issues. I congratulate the author on his/her emotional insight, and a brave and fine commentary on a very topical social issue that requires long overdue reform.
I thank you all for entrusting your poems to my scrutiny, and I wish you all every future success.
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Heather
Re: WA Chanpionships Written Results
Go Marty, Go Marty! One can forgive the lack of dress sense for someone who writes such an incredibly powerful, hit me in the guts poem. Well deserved Marty 
Congratulations all.
Heather
Congratulations all.
Heather
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Bob Pacey
- Moderator
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Re: WA Chanpionships Written Results
Well done Martin a good one to win stiff opposition.
You are such a classy dude !
Cheers and great stuff to all the other winners.
You are such a classy dude !
Cheers and great stuff to all the other winners.
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The purpose in life is to have fun.
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!
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Heather
Re: WA Chanpionships Written Results
This is the results section Bob, not the cruel jokes section! 
You have 15 minutes to remove that photo or your computer will self destruct!
You have 15 minutes to remove that photo or your computer will self destruct!-
Glenny Palmer
- Posts: 1816
- Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:47 am
Re: WA Chanpionships Written Results
....so where's the poem? You got it Heather...? 
The purpose of my life is to serve as a warning to others.
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Heather
Re: WA Chanpionships Written Results
I have had the privilege of reading it Glenny. It's not mine to show... it is a really powerful poem and I am thrilled to bits for Marty.....
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Glenny Palmer
- Posts: 1816
- Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:47 am
Re: WA Chanpionships Written Results
...absorootry correct Heather! I'm easily confused so I wondered where you'd read it...somewhere here on site I thought.
BTW....goodonya Marty! Well done indeed.
so I wondered where you'd read it...somewhere here on site I thought.BTW....goodonya Marty! Well done indeed.
The purpose of my life is to serve as a warning to others.
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warooa
Re: WA Chanpionships Written Results
Thanks Heather, a pleasant surprise it is. Thanks Glenny, I'll post the poem.
Matt . . . I'm not a 'write to win' sort did receive some extra encouragement with this one, thanks mate.
And Bert . . you idiot!
Cheers, Marty
Matt . . . I'm not a 'write to win' sort did receive some extra encouragement with this one, thanks mate.
And Bert . . you idiot!
Cheers, Marty