Disorder in the Courtroom

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alongtimegone
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Disorder in the Courtroom

Post by alongtimegone » Thu Jan 14, 2016 1:02 pm

Mary Louise Gilman, the venerable editor of the National Shorthand Reporter has collected many of the more hilarious courtroom bloopers in two books - Humor in the Court (1977) and More Humor in the Court, published a few months ago.

Here are a few that made me laugh.

Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
I will be three months November 8th.
Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
Yes.
What were you and your husband doing at that time?


Doctor, how many autopsies have you peformed on dead people?
All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.


Were you aquainted with the deceased?
Yes, sir.
Before or after he died?


What happened then?
He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Did he kill you?
No.


When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?

MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.


What is the meaning of sperm being present?
It indicates intercourse.
Male sperm?
That is the only kind I know.


Showing man picture.) That's you?
Yes, sir.
And you were present when the picture was taken, right?

Neville Briggs
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Re: Disorder in the Courtroom

Post by Neville Briggs » Thu Jan 14, 2016 3:13 pm

A lot of our politicians are lawyers, including the PM Malcolm Turnbull . :roll: :roll:
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

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alongtimegone
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Re: Disorder in the Courtroom

Post by alongtimegone » Tue Jan 26, 2016 8:00 pm

Yes Neville - the pollies do come out with some clangers.

“What Islam stands for is not compatible with our country … let the Muslim countries take them.” – Pauline Hanson

Neville Briggs
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Re: Disorder in the Courtroom

Post by Neville Briggs » Tue Jan 26, 2016 8:40 pm

:lol:

One of my favourites is one attributed to George W. Bush
" The French don't have a word for entrepreneur " :lol: :lol:
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

Heather

Re: Disorder in the Courtroom

Post by Heather » Tue Jan 26, 2016 9:24 pm

Gotta love a George Bush clanger. :lol:

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Shelley
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Re: Disorder in the Courtroom

Post by Shelley » Tue Jan 26, 2016 10:06 pm

And speaking of "bush" (I'm showing my age now) ... that great mixer of proverbs, the late Sir Johannes Bjelke-Petersen, once said:

A rolling stone is worth two in the bush!
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

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