one liners

[Cropduster]

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

There was a black-out at a department store. Twenty people were stuck on an escalator for over an hour.

I finished reading the dictionary. It turns out the zebra did it.

Why are there five syllables in the word monosyllabic

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright before you hear them speak.

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

[Vic Jefferies]

Do born again Christians have two belly buttons?

[Neville Briggs]

You're a bit behind Vic, that question was answered nearly 2000 years ago.