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GOSSIP

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2012 11:31 am
by Vic Jefferies
HOW TO STOP CHURCH GOSSIP

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose in to other people's business.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny...he said nothing.

Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of
Mildred's house...walked home...and left it there all night!!!
You gotta love George!

Re: GOSSIP

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2012 6:57 pm
by Dave Smith
:oops:

Re: GOSSIP

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2012 8:39 pm
by Zondrae
G'Day Vic,
You have posted the perfect example of how to tell a story with a hint of cheeky, without being vulgar in any way.
Some of the professional comedians should take note, I even laughed. Thanks for leading, rather than following.

I don't know why but your tale made me think of the frustrated duck who couldn't get up for down.

Re: GOSSIP

Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2012 1:58 am
by Maureen K Clifford
a little subtlety is always goooood Zondrae :lol: :lol: Your duck obviously has problems - but could be worse I wonder if he knows that birds are the only animal you can eat before they are born and after they are dead? :roll:

Re: GOSSIP

Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2012 7:23 am
by keats
Stop pinching things from Bills antique book!!! lol

Neil

Re: GOSSIP

Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:42 am
by william williams
Maybe Neil? :twisted:

if you wrote some modern stuff the old stuff won't be needed :cry: or don't you know any :roll:

Bill the old battler

Re: GOSSIP

Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2012 6:56 pm
by keats
I mostly write my own now Bill. Dangerous relying on the old stuff when you do shows. They are good, but everyone has heard them. That is why joke poems are dangerous. Imagine writing an old joke into a three minute poem and have the guy on before you tell the actual joke in twenty seconds! Therein lies the danger and that is why some of us write our own comedy for performance.

Neil

Re: GOSSIP

Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:22 pm
by william williams
NEIL :shock: We ain't seen any of your Jokes or yarns on the forum to say whether they are old or new.

So don't complain unless you can do better :lol: at least I'll have a go and put some thing on the forum.


Bill Williams the old battler

Re: GOSSIP

Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2012 11:16 pm
by manfredvijars
... once you post a good joke on the net it goes viral ....

DON'T POST! NEIL, DON'T POST!!!

Re: GOSSIP

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 6:42 am
by keats
I have no intentions. People steal them freely enough as it is without sticking them on the net. Sorry Bill, but if you want to hear my jokes buy a ticket to my show. As Manfred says, put them on the net and they go viral, half the would be comedians use them poorly and you are back writing more. That is why I also no longer post comedy poems here. People steal them. I often even have to judge my own poems!!