Irish Coffee.

[Rimeriter]

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido.

'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor?
'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.'

'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee, he won't even taste it..
Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.'

A week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid!... Just terrible, doctor!'

'Really? .......What happened?' asked the doctor.

'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely!
With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop!
It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!’

‘Why so terrible?’ asked the doctor, ‘Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn’t good?’

‘Feckin jaysus, ‘twas the best sex I’ve had in 25 years! But sure as I’m sittin here,
I’ll never be able to show me face in ‘McDonalds’ again!

***

[r.magnay]

...yeah that's alright Jim, I heard a similar version about feezers in Woolies but this is better and better told!....

[Bob Pacey]

Yeah Ross heard a few versions.

The great Charlie Marshall wrote a poem useing the Wollies version.


Bob

[Terry]

Good one Jim,

While on the subject of Irish Coffee's my late fishing mate John Turner was was a legend among the trout fishing fraternity over here in the west. On the night before the opening of the season a few of us would gather at some remote spot to see in the new season and as the evening progressed, the time would come for John to work his magic with the Irish Coffee. He always carried some large mugs and into these would go the coffee, boiling water, a liberal splash of scotch, then a generous spray of whipped cream (from a spray can), and finally to top it off a sprinkle of nutmeg. As the night wore on the ratio of scotch increased quite dramatically, the wise old old hands would only have the one.
There's stories I could tell you but perhaps I'd better not.


Cheers Terry

[Rimeriter]

Yes Terry, I have some ex army MATES that given the chance can become a real concern !!!!!

I also understand, some circumstances cannot be related in the presence of the fair sex.
Perhaps I am a prude, as judged by modern misses.

A few years back I was roundly SCOLDED, with many expletives included, by one of a group of modern misses for whom I opened a door, then stood back for them to proceed first.

Times have changed BUT I have not.

"Regards"
Jim.