Collaborative Poem 5 - Santa's True Ya Know
- Dave Smith
- Posts: 1726
- Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 9:12 pm
- Location: Collie W A
Collaborative Poem 5 - Santa's True Ya Know
Santa's True YA Know
I was going to write a Christmas story,
And tell of Santa in all his glory.
But those grumps have gone and beat me to it,
I think with Santa they might have blew it.
DS
When he wriggled down through the chimney small,
He did not intend to knock down the wall.
The children were laughing and full of glee,
When neighbours came and set the reindeers free.
DS
Does this help?
(Sorry Stephen)
I was going to write a Christmas story,
And tell of Santa in all his glory.
But those grumps have gone and beat me to it,
I think with Santa they might have blew it.
DS
When he wriggled down through the chimney small,
He did not intend to knock down the wall.
The children were laughing and full of glee,
When neighbours came and set the reindeers free.
DS
Does this help?
(Sorry Stephen)
I Keep Trying
- Dave Smith
- Posts: 1726
- Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 9:12 pm
- Location: Collie W A
Re: Santa's True Ya Know
Well that worked, so just give it a big miss does any one know how to scrub this post and give someone else a real shot, sorry about that.
Dave the Dunce.
Dave the Dunce.
I Keep Trying
- Peely
- Moderator
- Posts: 456
- Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 11:50 am
- Location: Tumut, NSW
Re: Santa's True Ya Know
G'day Dave
There is nothing wrong with what you were trying to get people to have a go at here. I have had a bit of a play with your original stanzas, just to rework the metre a little and have added a new stanza. Hopefully this will get it going again mate.
Regards
John Peel
Santa's True YA Know
I was going to write you a Christmassy story
and tell you of Santa in all of his glory.
A few grumpy people have beaten me to it,
I’m thinking with Santa that they might have blew it.
DS
When he wriggled down into the chimney so small,
it was not his intention to knock down the wall.
The children were laughing and so full of glee
when the neighbours let all of the reindeer run free.
DS
The reindeer then thought that their work was all done,
they were prancing and dancing and jumping with fun
and then without warning, the reindeer shot through.
Which left Santa thinking, “What am I to do?”
JP
There is nothing wrong with what you were trying to get people to have a go at here. I have had a bit of a play with your original stanzas, just to rework the metre a little and have added a new stanza. Hopefully this will get it going again mate.
Regards
John Peel
Santa's True YA Know
I was going to write you a Christmassy story
and tell you of Santa in all of his glory.
A few grumpy people have beaten me to it,
I’m thinking with Santa that they might have blew it.
DS
When he wriggled down into the chimney so small,
it was not his intention to knock down the wall.
The children were laughing and so full of glee
when the neighbours let all of the reindeer run free.
DS
The reindeer then thought that their work was all done,
they were prancing and dancing and jumping with fun
and then without warning, the reindeer shot through.
Which left Santa thinking, “What am I to do?”
JP
John Peel - The Man from Gilmore Creek
- Dave Smith
- Posts: 1726
- Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 9:12 pm
- Location: Collie W A
Re: Santa's True Ya Know
Thanks I do try but the best I can get out of METRE is 1000mm,
Dave.
Dave.
I Keep Trying
- Peely
- Moderator
- Posts: 456
- Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 11:50 am
- Location: Tumut, NSW
Re: Santa's True Ya Know
No worries Dave
You are having a go, that is the main thing. The more that you keep doing it, the better you are going to get. Keep at it.
Regards
John Peel
You are having a go, that is the main thing. The more that you keep doing it, the better you are going to get. Keep at it.
Regards
John Peel
John Peel - The Man from Gilmore Creek
Re: Santa's True Ya Know
Santa's True YA Know
I was going to write you a Christmassy story
and tell you of Santa in all of his glory.
A few grumpy people have beaten me to it,
I’m thinking with Santa that they might have blew it.
DS
When he wriggled down into the chimney so small,
it was not his intention to knock down the wall.
The children were laughing and so full of glee
when the neighbours let all of the reindeer run free.
DS
The reindeer then thought that their work was all done,
they were prancing and dancing and jumping with fun
and then without warning, the reindeer shot through.
Which left Santa thinking, “What am I to do?”
JP
"Well that's buggered up Christmas for this bloody year!"
old Santa he grumbled, so he knocked back a beer.
He sat on his sleigh and grabbed beer number two
when the grazing white boomers - they came into view.
MP
I was going to write you a Christmassy story
and tell you of Santa in all of his glory.
A few grumpy people have beaten me to it,
I’m thinking with Santa that they might have blew it.
DS
When he wriggled down into the chimney so small,
it was not his intention to knock down the wall.
The children were laughing and so full of glee
when the neighbours let all of the reindeer run free.
DS
The reindeer then thought that their work was all done,
they were prancing and dancing and jumping with fun
and then without warning, the reindeer shot through.
Which left Santa thinking, “What am I to do?”
JP
"Well that's buggered up Christmas for this bloody year!"
old Santa he grumbled, so he knocked back a beer.
He sat on his sleigh and grabbed beer number two
when the grazing white boomers - they came into view.
MP
- Zondrae
- Moderator
- Posts: 2292
- Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 9:04 am
- Location: Illawarra
Re: Santa's True Ya Know
Santa's True YA Know
I was going to write you a Christmassy story
and tell you of Santa in all of his glory.
A few grumpy people have beaten me to it,
I’m thinking with Santa that they might have blew it.
DS
When he wriggled down into the chimney so small,
it was not his intention to knock down the wall.
The children were laughing and so full of glee
when the neighbours let all of the reindeer run free.
DS
The reindeer then thought that their work was all done,
they were prancing and dancing and jumping with fun
and then without warning, the reindeer shot through.
Which left Santa thinking, “What am I to do?”
JP
"Well that's buggered up Christmas for this bloody year!"
old Santa he grumbled, so he knocked back a beer.
He sat on his sleigh and grabbed beer number two
when the grazing white boomers - they came into view.
MP
Now Santa is older, his vision is dim
with the help from that beer, it is really quite grim.
What he thought were reindeer, were not deer at all
but his neighbours white bloomers hung out on a wall.
ZK
I was going to write you a Christmassy story
and tell you of Santa in all of his glory.
A few grumpy people have beaten me to it,
I’m thinking with Santa that they might have blew it.
DS
When he wriggled down into the chimney so small,
it was not his intention to knock down the wall.
The children were laughing and so full of glee
when the neighbours let all of the reindeer run free.
DS
The reindeer then thought that their work was all done,
they were prancing and dancing and jumping with fun
and then without warning, the reindeer shot through.
Which left Santa thinking, “What am I to do?”
JP
"Well that's buggered up Christmas for this bloody year!"
old Santa he grumbled, so he knocked back a beer.
He sat on his sleigh and grabbed beer number two
when the grazing white boomers - they came into view.
MP
Now Santa is older, his vision is dim
with the help from that beer, it is really quite grim.
What he thought were reindeer, were not deer at all
but his neighbours white bloomers hung out on a wall.
ZK
Zondrae King
a woman of words
a woman of words
- keats
- Posts: 1044
- Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:43 pm
Re: Santa's True Ya Know
Santa's True YA Know
I was going to write you a Christmassy story
and tell you of Santa in all of his glory.
A few grumpy people have beaten me to it,
I’m thinking with Santa that they might have blew it.
DS
When he wriggled down into the chimney so small,
it was not his intention to knock down the wall.
The children were laughing and so full of glee
when the neighbours let all of the reindeer run free.
DS
The reindeer then thought that their work was all done,
they were prancing and dancing and jumping with fun
and then without warning, the reindeer shot through.
Which left Santa thinking, “What am I to do?”
JP
"Well that's buggered up Christmas for this bloody year!"
old Santa he grumbled, so he knocked back a beer.
He sat on his sleigh and grabbed beer number two
when the grazing white boomers - they came into view.
MP
Now Santa is older, his vision is dim
with the help from that beer, it is really quite grim.
What he thought were reindeer, were not deer at all
but his neighbours white bloomers hung out on a wall.
ZK
But this didn't bother the Santa we know
He grabbed for those bloomers, yelled "I'll have a go!"
Then he climbed to the roof with a wing on each boot
And sailed away drunk on a white parachute
NM
I was going to write you a Christmassy story
and tell you of Santa in all of his glory.
A few grumpy people have beaten me to it,
I’m thinking with Santa that they might have blew it.
DS
When he wriggled down into the chimney so small,
it was not his intention to knock down the wall.
The children were laughing and so full of glee
when the neighbours let all of the reindeer run free.
DS
The reindeer then thought that their work was all done,
they were prancing and dancing and jumping with fun
and then without warning, the reindeer shot through.
Which left Santa thinking, “What am I to do?”
JP
"Well that's buggered up Christmas for this bloody year!"
old Santa he grumbled, so he knocked back a beer.
He sat on his sleigh and grabbed beer number two
when the grazing white boomers - they came into view.
MP
Now Santa is older, his vision is dim
with the help from that beer, it is really quite grim.
What he thought were reindeer, were not deer at all
but his neighbours white bloomers hung out on a wall.
ZK
But this didn't bother the Santa we know
He grabbed for those bloomers, yelled "I'll have a go!"
Then he climbed to the roof with a wing on each boot
And sailed away drunk on a white parachute
NM
- Maureen K Clifford
- Posts: 8077
- Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
- Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
- Contact:
Re: Santa's True Ya Know
Santa's True YA Know
I was going to write you a Christmassy story
and tell you of Santa in all of his glory.
A few grumpy people have beaten me to it,
I’m thinking with Santa that they might have blew it.
DS
When he wriggled down into the chimney so small,
it was not his intention to knock down the wall.
The children were laughing and so full of glee
when the neighbours let all of the reindeer run free.
DS
The reindeer then thought that their work was all done,
they were prancing and dancing and jumping with fun
and then without warning, the reindeer shot through.
Which left Santa thinking, “What am I to do?”
JP
"Well that's buggered up Christmas for this bloody year!"
old Santa he grumbled, so he knocked back a beer.
He sat on his sleigh and grabbed beer number two
when the grazing white boomers - they came into view.
MP
Now Santa is older, his vision is dim
with the help from that beer, it is really quite grim.
What he thought were reindeer, were not deer at all
but his neighbours white bloomers hung out on a wall.
ZK
But this didn't bother the Santa we know
He grabbed for those bloomers, yelled "I'll have a go!"
Then he climbed to the roof with a wing on each boot
And sailed away drunk on a white parachute
NM
Then a pesky old wind from the hills blew around
and no prizes for guessing whose white chute was found
though lots of hot air through leg holes was escaping
and seems that old Santa had no way of braking
MKC
I was going to write you a Christmassy story
and tell you of Santa in all of his glory.
A few grumpy people have beaten me to it,
I’m thinking with Santa that they might have blew it.
DS
When he wriggled down into the chimney so small,
it was not his intention to knock down the wall.
The children were laughing and so full of glee
when the neighbours let all of the reindeer run free.
DS
The reindeer then thought that their work was all done,
they were prancing and dancing and jumping with fun
and then without warning, the reindeer shot through.
Which left Santa thinking, “What am I to do?”
JP
"Well that's buggered up Christmas for this bloody year!"
old Santa he grumbled, so he knocked back a beer.
He sat on his sleigh and grabbed beer number two
when the grazing white boomers - they came into view.
MP
Now Santa is older, his vision is dim
with the help from that beer, it is really quite grim.
What he thought were reindeer, were not deer at all
but his neighbours white bloomers hung out on a wall.
ZK
But this didn't bother the Santa we know
He grabbed for those bloomers, yelled "I'll have a go!"
Then he climbed to the roof with a wing on each boot
And sailed away drunk on a white parachute
NM
Then a pesky old wind from the hills blew around
and no prizes for guessing whose white chute was found
though lots of hot air through leg holes was escaping
and seems that old Santa had no way of braking
MKC
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
- Wendy Seddon
- Posts: 446
- Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 5:20 pm
- Location: Medowie NSW
Re: Santa's True Ya Know
Santa's True YA Know
I was going to write you a Christmassy story
and tell you of Santa in all of his glory.
A few grumpy people have beaten me to it,
I’m thinking with Santa that they might have blew it.
DS
When he wriggled down into the chimney so small,
it was not his intention to knock down the wall.
The children were laughing and so full of glee
when the neighbours let all of the reindeer run free.
DS
The reindeer then thought that their work was all done,
they were prancing and dancing and jumping with fun
and then without warning, the reindeer shot through.
Which left Santa thinking, “What am I to do?”
JP
"Well that's buggered up Christmas for this bloody year!"
old Santa he grumbled, so he knocked back a beer.
He sat on his sleigh and grabbed beer number two
when the grazing white boomers - they came into view.
MP
Now Santa is older, his vision is dim
with the help from that beer, it is really quite grim.
What he thought were reindeer, were not deer at all
but his neighbours white bloomers hung out on a wall.
ZK
But this didn't bother the Santa we know
He grabbed for those bloomers, yelled "I'll have a go!"
Then he climbed to the roof with a wing on each boot
And sailed away drunk on a white parachute
NM
Then a pesky old wind from the hills blew around
and no prizes for guessing whose white chute was found
though lots of hot air through leg holes was escaping
and seems that old Santa had no way of braking
MKC
But not all was lost 'cause from outa the blue
a flock of Galahs loudly flew into view,
they picked up that Chute, told Santa "hang on!"
and in a flurry of wings, the fat man was gone!
Wen
(I have adjusted the post for you Wen. You don't want to roc the boat!)
I was going to write you a Christmassy story
and tell you of Santa in all of his glory.
A few grumpy people have beaten me to it,
I’m thinking with Santa that they might have blew it.
DS
When he wriggled down into the chimney so small,
it was not his intention to knock down the wall.
The children were laughing and so full of glee
when the neighbours let all of the reindeer run free.
DS
The reindeer then thought that their work was all done,
they were prancing and dancing and jumping with fun
and then without warning, the reindeer shot through.
Which left Santa thinking, “What am I to do?”
JP
"Well that's buggered up Christmas for this bloody year!"
old Santa he grumbled, so he knocked back a beer.
He sat on his sleigh and grabbed beer number two
when the grazing white boomers - they came into view.
MP
Now Santa is older, his vision is dim
with the help from that beer, it is really quite grim.
What he thought were reindeer, were not deer at all
but his neighbours white bloomers hung out on a wall.
ZK
But this didn't bother the Santa we know
He grabbed for those bloomers, yelled "I'll have a go!"
Then he climbed to the roof with a wing on each boot
And sailed away drunk on a white parachute
NM
Then a pesky old wind from the hills blew around
and no prizes for guessing whose white chute was found
though lots of hot air through leg holes was escaping
and seems that old Santa had no way of braking
MKC
But not all was lost 'cause from outa the blue
a flock of Galahs loudly flew into view,
they picked up that Chute, told Santa "hang on!"
and in a flurry of wings, the fat man was gone!
Wen
(I have adjusted the post for you Wen. You don't want to roc the boat!)
Wen de Rhymewriter There is nothing mundane about the ordinary.