ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

Enter Inter anter who cares about trivial things like that Ya know what i mean.


Bob

Oh I did Bob, I do, I does


Now you've heard some funny stories
about serial killers through the ages.
Ones that make ya blood run cold
and made a mark in histories pages.
Bob

But this bloke tore his victims up
like he was grating cheddar,
he'd leave behind a minced up mess -
his name was Jack the Shredder.
JP

A shy and quiet bloke was Jack
some thought he was a twit.
But he turned into a demon
when someone called out "Shred it" !
Bob

He’d race around the office floor
gathering paper left and right
then he’d commandeer the shredder
screaming at it ‘Shred it right’
mkc

An incident occurred one night
while normal people slept,
it had the crack detectives stumped
as 'round the scene they crept.
Wen

For Jack had not come home
to his elegant skyscraper
and when they checked the office
they found bloodied shredded paper.
Bob

They checked the office kitchen
and found glad - wrapped in the freezer
suspicious frozen packages
all labelled 'Jack the geezer'
mkc

A crime scene was established and
they searched around for prints.
It seemed that Jack the Shredder
somehow turned himself to mince.

Just how he turned out packaged up
and frozen had them guessing -
the thoughts of mince in motion were
a little bit distressing.
JP

Another clue then came to light
explaining all within
a chick called Fanny (File It)
had emptied out the bin

She noticed Jack all minced and torn,
'twas more than she could bear
and so she packaged old Jack up
shrink wrapped, labelled with care .
mkc

They tried to charge poor Fanny
as an accessory, after the fact.
but they were not aware that Fan
and Jack had sworn and signed a pact.
Bob

A pact of undying devious devotion
to outlast their final years.
Those that gathered 'round the freezer
shed some saddened, salted tears.
Jim.

But Fanny had an older sister
I think Julia was her name.
She had opened up a bank account
insurance benefits to claim.
Bob

See Julia needed extra money
her dilemma it was dire.
She had nothing in the coffers
and people said she was a liar!
Bp


But people are so quick to judge
and don’t give a fair go
Poor Julia had done her best
her sis knew it was so
mkc

So the sorry saga ended
as the police would soon discover.
Jack and Fans remains were entertwined
and true love did they recover.
Bob

But Julia progressed in life
and rose to higher places
One often sees her round about
with other well known faces
mkc

Now you've heard some funny stories
about serial killers through the ages.
Ones that make ya blood run cold
and made a mark in histories pages.
Bob

But this bloke tore his victims up
like he was grating cheddar,
he'd leave behind a minced up mess -
his name was Jack the Shredder.
JP

A shy and quiet bloke was Jack
some thought he was a twit.
But he turned into a demon
when someone called out "Shred it" !
Bob

He’d race around the office floor
gathering paper left and right
then he’d commandeer the shredder
screaming at it ‘Shred it right’
mkc

An incident occurred one night
while normal people slept,
it had the crack detectives stumped
as 'round the scene they crept.
Wen

For Jack had not come home
to his elegant skyscraper
and when they checked the office
they found bloodied shredded paper.
Bob

They checked the office kitchen
and found glad - wrapped in the freezer
suspicious frozen packages
all labelled 'Jack the geezer'
mkc

A crime scene was established and
they searched around for prints.
It seemed that Jack the Shredder
somehow turned himself to mince.

Just how he turned out packaged up
and frozen had them guessing -
the thoughts of mince in motion were
a little bit distressing.
JP

Another clue then came to light
explaining all within
a chick called Fanny (File It)
had emptied out the bin

She noticed Jack all minced and torn,
'twas more than she could bear
and so she packaged old Jack up
shrink wrapped, labelled with care .
mkc

They tried to charge poor Fanny
as an accessory, after the fact.
but they were not aware that Fan
and Jack had sworn and signed a pact.
Bob

A pact of undying devious devotion
to outlast their final years.
Those that gathered 'round the freezer
shed some saddened, salted tears.
Jim.

But Fanny had an older sister
I think Julia was her name.
She had opened up a bank account
insurance benefits to claim.
Bob

See Julia needed extra money
her dilemma it was dire.
She had nothing in the coffers
and people said she was a liar!
Bp


But people are so quick to judge
and don’t give a fair go
Poor Julia had done her best
her sis knew it was so
mkc

So the sorry saga ended
as the police would soon discover.
Jack and Fans remains were entertwined
and true love did they recover.
Bob

But Julia progressed in life
and rose to higher places
One often sees her round about
with other well known faces
mkc

I think that there's a moral here
for folks like of me and you.
If you live by the shredder mate
you die all shredded to.

TS