In-Depth Analysis of Prizewinning Poem
Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:52 pm
My poem ''In My Father's Name'' (see ''Member's Poetry'')won ''The Rathdowney Heritage Festival'' comp back around Easter time. The organisers have not posted the results here, although they did submit same to Wally Finch's Newsletter. I applaud Geraldine & Jim's commitment to our craft because they also did quite an in-depth analysis of why they chose my poem as the winner. This attitude & effort is what I would dearly love to see embraced by all event organisers. I have been very keen to see this posted on our site, as I think it will be a great help to all who wish to succeed in written comps.
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The Written Competition
A brief critique of ‘In my Father’s Name’ written by Glenny
Palmer from Theodore Qld.
1. Alliteration: Glenny used a lot of alliteration- two or
more words close together with the same letter or sound
that helped to get our attention e.g. ‘Tobacco tin’; ‘brass
button’. The alliteration at times went hand and hand
with meaning e.g. ‘threadbare trousers’; ‘hungry heeler’.
It also helped to create feeling e.g. ‘blistered hands and
heart the grim reward’ and movement e.g. ‘fluttered
faintly to the floor’.
2. Rhythm: The poem moves quickly with good metre and
rhythm and you feel the swagman moving from place to
place and you also get the sense that you are moving
through his life story. The alliteration also joined the
rhythm and helped to propel us along.
3. Word usage: Glenny used many feeling words to
describe her father’s hard life e.g. weeping; pining;
painful; struggled and ragged etc. The words chosen are
strong and powerful, but tragic. e.g. ‘blistered’; ‘worked
like hell’; ‘stooped from slogging; implored her God’;
‘place that he deplored’. The poem cleverly outlines the
difficulties and the pain of a generation after the first
World War. Glenny also used words and phrases in fresh
ways which helped to keep our interest by creating
wonderful images e.g. ‘ragged soles cursed bitumen’;
‘talcum touch of red plain soil’; ‘courage nourishing the
spirit’ or ‘that’s woven in the fabric of history’
4. Grief theme: Glenny mentioned her grief, the human
process we go through when we lose something or
someone we love, but then she cleverly dealt with the
stages of grief by externalising them in the poem... by
reflecting on a few relics from his life, Glenny pushed us
along with her images so we could feel with her, the guilt
because a generation had to work so hard, the blame
aimed at a government that created the laws of the time,
the enlightenment where we learn from their lives, and
the resolve to carry on the lessons learnt, so it won’t all
be in vain. This was so very cleverly done.
Well done Glenny!
If there is a criticism, perhaps it’s just an opinion......perhaps
a poem like this can sometimes be overlooked because the
themes are so complex....we had to take time to be able to
come to the understanding we have now.
Bush poetry is often much simpler not as much work– So we
were in two minds that a poem with a simpler theme/story
would be a better choice but in the end it was Glenny’s poem
that won the day and the money.
She truly is a poetic craftsperson extraordinaire!
Gerry King and Jim Tonkin.
------------------------------------------------------
The Written Competition
A brief critique of ‘In my Father’s Name’ written by Glenny
Palmer from Theodore Qld.
1. Alliteration: Glenny used a lot of alliteration- two or
more words close together with the same letter or sound
that helped to get our attention e.g. ‘Tobacco tin’; ‘brass
button’. The alliteration at times went hand and hand
with meaning e.g. ‘threadbare trousers’; ‘hungry heeler’.
It also helped to create feeling e.g. ‘blistered hands and
heart the grim reward’ and movement e.g. ‘fluttered
faintly to the floor’.
2. Rhythm: The poem moves quickly with good metre and
rhythm and you feel the swagman moving from place to
place and you also get the sense that you are moving
through his life story. The alliteration also joined the
rhythm and helped to propel us along.
3. Word usage: Glenny used many feeling words to
describe her father’s hard life e.g. weeping; pining;
painful; struggled and ragged etc. The words chosen are
strong and powerful, but tragic. e.g. ‘blistered’; ‘worked
like hell’; ‘stooped from slogging; implored her God’;
‘place that he deplored’. The poem cleverly outlines the
difficulties and the pain of a generation after the first
World War. Glenny also used words and phrases in fresh
ways which helped to keep our interest by creating
wonderful images e.g. ‘ragged soles cursed bitumen’;
‘talcum touch of red plain soil’; ‘courage nourishing the
spirit’ or ‘that’s woven in the fabric of history’
4. Grief theme: Glenny mentioned her grief, the human
process we go through when we lose something or
someone we love, but then she cleverly dealt with the
stages of grief by externalising them in the poem... by
reflecting on a few relics from his life, Glenny pushed us
along with her images so we could feel with her, the guilt
because a generation had to work so hard, the blame
aimed at a government that created the laws of the time,
the enlightenment where we learn from their lives, and
the resolve to carry on the lessons learnt, so it won’t all
be in vain. This was so very cleverly done.
Well done Glenny!
If there is a criticism, perhaps it’s just an opinion......perhaps
a poem like this can sometimes be overlooked because the
themes are so complex....we had to take time to be able to
come to the understanding we have now.
Bush poetry is often much simpler not as much work– So we
were in two minds that a poem with a simpler theme/story
would be a better choice but in the end it was Glenny’s poem
that won the day and the money.
She truly is a poetic craftsperson extraordinaire!
Gerry King and Jim Tonkin.