Homework 1st Nov - Siren

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Catherine Lee
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Homework 1st Nov - Siren

Post by Catherine Lee » Sun Oct 31, 2021 3:37 pm

Siren

Intoxicating singing surged and swelled upon the tide—
alluring yet tormenting force that couldn’t be denied.
It seemed to tell of innocence and virtue, but seemed laced
with threats of grave misfortune and a sense of self erased.
A siren song, compelling and confusing in its lure
with promises of joy and peace, yet challenges impure.

He’d searched for that elusive road which leads to Isle of Hope—
now merely clung to fraying threads on this elusive rope.
The song appeared to tell of past and history combined
and offer some redemption to his sad, bewildered mind.
Another voice intruded and he recognised his own—
with sounds of yearning guttural, he wavered with a groan.

In anguish then he screamed his pain, but nothing could appease.
He begged forgiveness for his choice, “Oh, bless me Father, please!”
As if entranced, his eyes grew blank - he fancied he could see
a lovely image beckoning and waving from the sea,
her teasing song hypnotic, long hair moving with the tide—
he flung his body off the cliff—in ecstasy he died.

© Catherine Lee, 2021

Ron
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Re: Homework 1st Nov - Siren

Post by Ron » Sun Oct 31, 2021 7:37 pm

Wow Catherine, that is a beautiful poem! So concise and such a good, but sad tale, with great lines,and also you have made such good use of the prompts as well. For me it conjures up a Norman Lindsay painting, well done!
Cheers
Ron.

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Shelley Hansen
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Re: Homework 1st Nov - Siren

Post by Shelley Hansen » Mon Nov 01, 2021 8:11 am

WOW!! Catherine, where did that come from??? :D There's just no telling what Maureen's prompts will spawn, is there?

I love it! It reminded Ron of a Norman Lindsay painting - and I can see why. But it also reminds me of Homer's Odyssey, when Odysseus and his sailors tied themselves down lest they fling themselves into the raging sea at the sound of the sorceress Circe's singing!

Great stuff of legend!

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Shelley
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Terry
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Re: Homework 1st Nov - Siren

Post by Terry » Mon Nov 01, 2021 11:55 am

Certainly different Catherine

Yet almost compelling in its message.

It could well apply to a lot of people today who are seeking something intangible,
that seems to be always just out of reach.

Or am I misreading the meaning of your poem.

Terry

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Gary Harding
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Re: Homework 1st Nov - Siren

Post by Gary Harding » Tue Nov 02, 2021 6:14 am

Thank you for sharing this rather different verse Catherine!!

I think that it is certainly something out of the usual and with what I might suggest is a brave trip on your part into the world of intensely psychologically descriptive poetry. To me it is real and yet unreal at the same time, if that makes sense? I would expect that it would have been very challenging but hopefully personally satisfying (if not a bit mentally exhausting too?) for you to write it.

There is clearly room for a reader to "interpret" or suggest parallels to what you write about... as evidenced by comments made already.

I don't think "Bush" verse has to be about a rural topic. Just good rhyming lines that have perfect meter... and the rest is up to the skill of the Writer to capture the Reader.

I especially like brief poems with "punch". One of my own general tests is "Was this poem worth the time reading it? Did I get something out of it?" In this case my answer is Yes, although it took some time to transpose myself into this world that I find is outside your normal area of writing (and took me by surprise). When I did get there though, I certainly appreciated the way you expressed yourself with analogies, tight adjectives and (as always) your close Empathy with your characters.

Having said that about empathy, please stay away from cliffs Catherine! haha

More than that is hard for me to say about this poem. It takes the reader on a "journey of the mind", putting them in a different but nevertheless fascinating place.

Another remarkable poem. Please keep posting your work here. Gary

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: Homework 1st Nov - Siren

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Tue Nov 02, 2021 8:59 am

WOW indeed - that captured your dark muse - a Sirens tale indeed and left of left field whoever would have thought the prompts would take you there - aren't our minds and muses wonderful :D we are all blessed not only with the talent to write but to also conjure up majical scenarios from our fertile brains.
I loved this poem Catherine and would like to share it to ur ARP page if I may unless of course you want to keep it under wraps for a comp because I feel it is comp worthy - especially if you expanded it a little more.
Well done and great use of the prompts as well.
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

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Catherine Lee
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Re: Homework 1st Nov - Siren

Post by Catherine Lee » Wed Nov 03, 2021 5:38 pm

Well, I guess it’s my turn to say ‘Wow!’ I’m quite blown away by your responses to this poem. Yes, it is indeed a bit different, and I’m so happy to hear such positive feedback from you all.

Ron and Shelley – Norman Lindsay painting? Homer’s Odyssey? These are huge compliments; thank you (and no, Shelley, I have no idea where it came from!)…

Terry, thank you for seeing such meaning in my words. I really like the way you put this and will consider it further should I expand on the poem in future. Likewise Gary, thank you for your comments on how this can be interpreted by different people, and I love what you said about taking the reader on a ‘journey of the mind’ too. Yes, it was indeed a satisfying challenge…

Maureen, you too have brought me great pleasure with your kind words and ‘dark muse’ comment. I confess I did hope to go searching out in the ‘left field’ so to speak, but in the end it simply came to me as I re-read the prompts at the eleventh hour! There’s a strong possibility I might indeed expand on this poem in the future, but in the meantime, you may certainly share it to the ARP page if you would like to...

I’d also like to especially thank you once again for these regular prompts, which have really helped all of us so much over time. In fact, two of my recent award-winning poems initially came from these wonderful exercises – without them, they might never even have been written, and I know others feel the same!

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