Homework w/e 26.4.21 .. COMRADES IN ARMS

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Maureen K Clifford
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Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
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Homework w/e 26.4.21 .. COMRADES IN ARMS

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Wed Apr 07, 2021 4:02 pm

This poem didn't quite take me where I wanted to go so doubtless over time I will have a fiddle with it - it is somehow inexplicably linked with my old property - all of it very real, the sawmill, ironbark tree, the crow and kelpie , and only the story changed to protect the innocent :lol: - I can see the picture in my minds as as the story unfolds ... not sure where it came from or where it is going, but it is what it is.

COMRADES IN ARMS ... Maureen Clifford © The #ScribblyBarkPoet


The crow cawed in the Ironbark tree,
not once, not twice, but three times he
called out quite loudly - discontent
in every note -I knew it meant
that someone, perhaps known to me
was invading our territory.
A happy chappy? No not he
expressing indignation.

I put aside my axe and saw,
and dusted off my hands once more -
put my Akubra on my head
looked down the track towards the shed
and saw a bloke approaching me,
tanned, fit, footloose and fancy free
his jeans were ragged at the knee
a senseless mutilation.

He smiled, politely said G'day
just dropping in since out this way
to check perhaps if you have work
for a young bloke who will not shirk?
I'm young and fit - My name is Jake.
Can drive most anything they make.
(He'd charm the skin right off a snake ...
cynical observation).

I shook his hand - his shake was firm
he looked me in the eye - no squirm
to indicate a bad intent.
Took him at face value - a gent,
who seemed fair dinkum and at ease
no doubt had willingness to please
and help was needed - I should seize
offers to my salvation.

With two of us working the mill -
the time soon passed, we filled the bill.
We loaded timber flitches sawn,
the kelpie looked on with a yawn,
as trusses, beams and joists were placed
on the truck bed, carefully braced.
Space at the premium - no waste.
Perfect articulation.

We took a smoko break and then
chatted, as is the way of men
when being under no delusion
nor jumping to wrong conclusion,
a suitable moment appeared
I asked why he had volunteered
to take a job on - terms unclear
re pay, accommodation.

There was no mystery he said
he needed a place for his bed
and board as he travelled country -
his Fathers land where all are free.
It seems he had a heart of gold
he'd heard in town how this bloke old
had fallen on hard times and sold,
his home. His much loved station.

He said his Father's name was Jim
and perhaps I would recall him
from younger days when we were lads,
as close as brothers - two comrades.
And with him Jim a message sent
regretting all the time since spent
apart, when life got in the way
along with emigration.

He said that Jim now lived in Oz
and he was reaching out because
the man here now, was once the boy
who'd saved his Dad's life in Phước Tuy.
His hand in friendship he offered
along with the message proffered
a place to live free of bother -
a grateful remuneration.

The crow cawed in the Ironbark tree,
conversation he made with me
via rattles and some loud clicks
he flapped around and threw down sticks;
and in his beady eye I saw
the escape I was looking for.
A miracle received for sure
expressed appreciation,
rejoined comrades of this nation.
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Ron
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Re: Homework w/e 26.4.21 .. COMRADES IN ARMS

Post by Ron » Thu Apr 08, 2021 12:36 pm

Wow Maureen, you have certainly set the bar high there! A great yarn, well told. Loved the way you have summed up each verse with the
'ation' rhymes and then bringing it all together at the end. Flowed well and good use of the prompts, well done.
Cheers
Ron

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Shelley Hansen
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Re: Homework w/e 26.4.21 .. COMRADES IN ARMS

Post by Shelley Hansen » Sat Apr 10, 2021 10:17 am

An interesting story, indeed, Maureen.

You are never short of ideas! I wish my Muse was as energetic!! Mmmm ....
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

Terry
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Re: Homework w/e 26.4.21 .. COMRADES IN ARMS

Post by Terry » Sun Apr 11, 2021 8:48 pm

Yes I think you were selling yourself short on this one Maureen.
You have woven a good yarn with a bit of everything in it, including warmth - an important ingredient I reckon.

Terry

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: Homework w/e 26.4.21 .. COMRADES IN ARMS

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Mon Apr 12, 2021 9:13 am

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support. :D
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

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Catherine Lee
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Re: Homework w/e 26.4.21 .. COMRADES IN ARMS

Post by Catherine Lee » Thu Apr 15, 2021 1:25 pm

I agree with the others Maureen - this is a wonderful poem and sets the bar high. The way in which you have ended each stanza with the 'ation' rhymes is most effective...(And it has to be said that I join with Shelley is wishing my Muse was half as energetic as yours!!

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