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Bob's Precious Box Homework 4/5/2015

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 8:08 am
by Bob Pacey
Bob's Precious Box


Go work your magic Maureen told poetic friends of mine
these little prompts are all for you on which to feast and dine.
Set your mind on drifting far from life's harsh reality
dwell on things that you have kept that fill your heart with glee.

Those things you have collected from the days when you were young
before life's shackles tied you down as you climbed the corporate rung.
Tawdry trinkets, silver spoons or pictures from those days gone bye
to others they mean nothing but they still can make you cry.

A pencil case from school days, a fishing reel used by my dad
some bring smiles of happiness and there are others make me sad.
Not precious heirlooms I'll admit but they mean so much to me
No thief would think to steal them but they're under lock and key.

Sometimes I shuffle through the contents as I sit alone at night
I relive the memories of days gone bye and hope I got it right.
Sometime I wonder why I kept a rock or some tiny rubber ball
Bob's Precious Box the name proclaims and that just say's it all.

Bob Pacey (C)

Re: Bob's Precious Box Homework 4/5/2015

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 9:56 am
by Maureen K Clifford
OMG - you've immortalized me Robere :o :shock: :lol: I love it and your box of treasures are great, a fishing reel, a pencil case - treasures indeed not for their value but for their precious memories. You can't put a price on those mate. Well done you.

Re: Bob's Precious Box Homework 4/5/2015

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 10:26 am
by Neville Briggs
Good on ya Bob. This is a workshop Bob, for working at things. Sorry old mate but try this experiment. In the first stanza take out the words
" those " in the first line. Third line take out " away " and "harsh " then read it out loud. ( And comma after magic in first line ). What does that sound like.

Re: Bob's Precious Box Homework 4/5/2015

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 2:01 pm
by Bob Pacey
Not until you post your poem Nev.

Re: Bob's Precious Box Homework 4/5/2015

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 4:48 pm
by Neville Briggs
Pity, you could have learnt something. That's what homework is for ;)

Re: Bob's Precious Box Homework 4/5/2015

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 7:01 pm
by Bob Pacey
No Nev I do not consider it homework it is a mind exercise but I want to see more forum members participate.



Bob

Re: Bob's Precious Box Homework 4/5/2015

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 7:40 pm
by Neville Briggs
It would be good for more to join in. I will , if I can get something going, that's not always possible, but I have put some in from time to time.

Re: Bob's Precious Box Homework 4/5/2015

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 7:45 pm
by Bob Pacey
ok changed two left the harsh and yes it does sound better.


Thank you Kimosabi.

Bob

Re: Bob's Precious Box Homework 4/5/2015

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 9:20 pm
by Neville Briggs
Poetic metre is not mathematical science and some things can be interpreted several ways, so
I try to balance the rhythm of language with the metric stresses, but I don't always get it.
I think English is a language that refuses to fit neatly all the time into some set metric count, we have to be flexible.

That's todays sermon. :roll:

By the way, I do relate to your verse. I still have the little school case that my daughter carried to school on her first day. She is a married woman, turned 42 the other day. :lol:

Re: Bob's Precious Box Homework 4/5/2015

Posted: Tue May 05, 2015 2:46 pm
by Catherine Lee
Nice one Bob - love the last line too. No matter how many times I have a big clear out, I still have certain precious things that simply cannot be thrown away and which to anyone else would be complete junk. Some of them certainly still have the power to make me cry all these years later too!