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homework 15/12 Turon Gold.
Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 8:49 am
by Neville Briggs
Turon Gold
The dry brown gullied hills are as old
As the age that blazed their heart of gold.
Wild dreams are ghosts while the cold wind blows
Where the Turon River flows.
Sofala's glory days are dust
And Hill End diggers all gone bust.
Now platypus in the gravel goes
Where the Turon River flows.
Dark Casuarinas sway and sigh
Along the banks where secrets lie.
What precious treasure waits; who knows,
As the Turon River flows.
The dry brown gullied hills grow old
And the Turon River flows.
Re: homework 15/12 Turon Gold.
Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 10:57 am
by Maureen K Clifford
That is lovely Neville and like the river it flows nicely. A little refining perhaps for that first stanza to conform with the 8 syllable requirement of each line within the Kyrielle Sonnet but that's not a problem to fix I can see.
I really like this Neville - it is beautiful - it would make a great song
Re: homework 15/12 Turon Gold.
Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 1:10 pm
by Catherine Lee
This is lovely Neville!
Re: homework 15/12 Turon Gold.
Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 2:53 pm
by Neville Briggs
Thanks Catherine.
Thanks for the encouragement Maureen. Oh dear, as I struggled to make something of it, I forgot to keep on with the syllable count.

Hopefully I have the stresses worked out suitably.
To be honest Maureen I have some doubt that kyrielle makes a hybrid with the sonnet, they seem to require different moods, I suspect that more consideration has to work than just structure i.e. rhyming and syllables,and I have great difficulty trying to do a sonnet, it's a bit beyond me. It's an interesting experiment like the tigon or the liger.

Re: homework 15/12 Turon Gold.
Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 9:35 am
by alongtimegone
Love it Neville. Beautifully descriptive.
Wazza
Re: homework 15/12 Turon Gold.
Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 9:43 am
by Heather
I can picture it Neville. It reminds me of Adelong.
Heather

Re: homework 15/12 Turon Gold.
Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 4:45 pm
by Neville Briggs
Thanks Heather. I've never been to Adelong.
Re: homework 15/12 Turon Gold.
Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 5:03 pm
by Heather
They're all the same Neville!

Re: homework 15/12 Turon Gold.
Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 7:25 pm
by Neville Briggs
Thanks Wazza.
Sofala is unique Heather.

Re: homework 15/12 Turon Gold.
Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 6:40 am
by Bob Pacey
Oh shock horror Nev a missed Silly Bell
For what it is worth it read ok and sounded ok to me Mate.
B