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OOH-WAA!!
Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 3:31 pm
by Trisha Patterson
OOH-WAA!!!
Her star had burnt bright on that hot stormy night
Till she got to the golden guitars;
She entered stage left looking somewhat bereft;
And the air reeked of rum and cigars!
The crowd started cheering and whistling and leering;
And applauding her fashion faux pas!
She made a mistake… with her shirt not "opaque"...
And she wasn't wearing a bra!
Trisha Patterson
©
27/1/11
Re: OOH-WAA!!
Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 3:41 pm
by Neville Briggs
Sorry to pick Trish..I think you might need to say " her shirt's not opaque " cause opaque is the opposite of see-through.
You know me, always helpful ...ummmm
Re: OOH-WAA!!
Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 9:20 am
by vwalla
Trish and Neville
Maybe
Plainly apparent - Her shirt was transparent
Val W
Re: OOH-WAA!!
Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 9:25 am
by william williams
Re: OOH-WAA!!
Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 10:46 am
by Maureen K Clifford
It was perfectly clear to me Neville
what Trish was showing - but no doubt your points were made.
Re: OOH-WAA!!
Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 12:32 pm
by Trisha Patterson
Thanks Neville,
That's what happens when you rush and dont think! Just proves... "Good poetry isn't just written...it needs to be "re-written"!
Cheers
Trish
Re: OOH-WAA!!
Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 12:39 pm
by Trisha Patterson
Hi Val,Bill & Maureen,
Thanks for your replies. Have now rectified that little blooper...
but you knew what I meant!
Cheers
Trish
Re: OOH-WAA!!
Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 7:30 pm
by Bob Pacey
Couple of fine points in that poem Trish but i just can not seem to put my finger on them ?????
Re: OOH-WAA!!
Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 7:46 pm
by Heather
Sometimes you just wish you hadn't started something don't you Trisha?
Heather
Re: OOH-WAA!!
Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 8:24 pm
by Trisha Patterson
I think you could be right Heather! It's starting to look that way.
Cheers
Trisha
