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The Ghost of Cockle Ridge - Part 2

Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2015 3:34 pm
by Cropduster
For those who may have read part 1 of the story, I am hoping you may enjoy reading further.

Part 2 is included in this post.


THE GHOST OF COCKLE RIDGE


THE MEETING


At six o’clock, not a minute before, and not a minute after,
The chairman, Wallace Wombat, called the meeting place to order.
‘I thank you one and all’ he said ‘and I see that you are many.
It seems our cause has struck a chord, are you with me or against me?’

With that, a rousing cheer broke out - a unified refrain,
It seemed that all were Wombat bound, not one voice of disdain.
‘My friends,’ Wombat continued, ‘we must devise a cunning plan,
If we’re to drive away this awful creature known as Man.’

‘I have it,’ cried Old Cockatoo, ‘We’ll form a Cockle army.
We’ll lead them on a merry dance, they’re few and we are many.’
‘I’ll peck their heads’ the Magpie said. Snake added, ‘I’ll bite their toes.’
And cries of ‘Fight’ rang through the night, ‘Let’s fight the dreaded foe.’

‘Oh, no! Oh, no!’ exclaimed the Crow, ‘I know humans all too well.
Violence is not the way if we’re to save our Cockle Hill.
The humans will return in numbers - forty, fifty, maybe more,
And what once was a torrid battle will become a horrid war.’

‘The crow is right,’ said a voice in the night, and the creatures turned to see,
The shadowy sight in the pale moon light of Wise Owl in his tree.
‘If we’re to save our Cockle homes, and keep them safe forever,
We can’t, of course, rely on force. We must be far more clever.’

‘So tell us, Owl, what shall we do?’ the animals all did sing.
And with a lurch, Owl left his perch to address the gathering.
‘We must drive man out, there is no doubt, but what we must ensure,
Is as they flee, they all agree to return here never more.’

‘All humans have a weakness, an Achilles Heel, if you will,
And that’s a fear of ghosts and ghouls, the ‘supernatural’.
I’ll make it clear, if we tap their fear of ghosties from the grave,
They’ll leave real quick, ‘licketty-split’, and our homes will all be saved.’

‘Now, legend has it, years ago, a man called Mad Dog Ben,
Came fossicking here in search of gold, but was never seen again.
And for all their so-called intelligence, Man isn’t very smart,
Some - no, most - believe Mad Dog's ghost still roams around these parts.’

Then Owl began to describe his plan, and the animals all agreed,
That what they heard, though quite absurd, was a masterstroke indeed.
‘Lets take a vote,’ the Wombat spoke, ‘ Do we put Owl’s plan in action?’
A unanimous cry of ‘Aye, aye, aye’. Owl nodded his satisfaction.


© Copyright Allan Cropper 2012

Re: The Ghost of Cockle Ridge - Part 2

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2015 6:07 am
by warooa
It's good mate, just post the rest, I'm intrigued now :)

Cheers, Marty

Re: The Ghost of Cockle Ridge - Part 2

Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2015 9:34 am
by Shelley Hansen
Hi Allan

I'm really enjoying the story and can't wait to hear the ending! You've really got the ability to tell a story, and I don't think it is too long at all when you keep the momentum going as you have done.

As you've asked for feedback, one thing I would say is watch your rhyme. There are a few places where you have end words that almost (but not quite) rhyme (e.g. "after" and "order). Probably with just a little more tweaking you could achieve the exact rhyme, which would help with the flow of your verse.

A suggestion for you - the annual CJ Dennis written competition has a section for poetry written by adults for children. It will be on again later in the year - watch the ABPA "events" page for details. Why not enter a children's poem? Feedback from judges is often very useful.

Looking forward to Part 3!!

Cheers, Shelley

Re: The Ghost of Cockle Ridge - Part 2

Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 8:11 pm
by warooa
Any sight of the rest yet Alan? Would love to have a read.

Cheers, Marty