Purple Tomatoes with Bionic Ears

[Stephen Whiteside]

I sometimes submit poems for children to the Pearson magazines in Victoria. They always have themes. One was listed as 'weird science', and the examples that were given were 'purple tomatoes' and 'bionic ears'. Sounded like a poem to me...

Purple Tomatoes with Bionic Ears

© Stephen Whiteside 08.09.10

Purple tomatoes with bionic ears,
Armed to the teeth with asparagus spears,
Teeth that are orange and glow in the dark
That hides all the possums that live in the park.
The possums don’t glow. Well, only the few
That dropped down from Mars with the cold morning dew,
The cold morning dew that I feel on my feet
If I go for a stroll down the end of the street;
The end of the street, not the middle or start,
Where the lemons are green and the berries are tart,
And the carrots are orange, and look as they should,
Except they’re enormous, and made out of wood;
Made out of wood, like the masts of a ship,
Or a chair, or a table, or raspberry pip,
Or raspberry skin that is peeled and stretched flat,
And sewn with its rellies to make a nice mat;
A raspberry mat for your bum or your knees,
Though still, in mid winter, you’re likely to freeze,
Likely to freeze like a white ice cream brick.
Swallow too much and you’ll make yourself sick;
Make yourself sick, so you’ll call for the doc,
Then sit back and hark to the tick of the clock,
For doctors are busy, though clocks tick no more,
Except for that one on the tele I saw.
Well, not on the tele. You know what I mean.
The clock that was tocking was up on the screen.
I say it was ‘up’, but the tele was low
(the sound, not the picture) throughout the whole show.
I heard it by straining my bionic ears
(like straining a tin of asparagus spears).
Did I say they were mine? Well, perhaps not as such,
But purple tomatoes don’t need them too much.

[Maureen K Clifford]

And you were taking what exactly???

Such a vivid imagination - love it

Cheers

Maureen