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Pruney & the Goon

Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2020 9:49 am
Pruney & the Goon
(By Alan McCosker July 2020)

I’d like to relate you a story about
a couple who were mean and ornery,
back in the sixties on a Station outback
in a region that’s known as Mulwarree.

Now this couple who came, to fill the position
of a Cook and a Groom that were leavin’,
made it known from the start, to not be complainin’
‘bout her menu or ‘bout her poor cookin’.

The Cook was a wizened old lady from Hell
and the Groom was nasty and pompous,
spoke not a nice word and shifty as well
and the Cook made it clear she despised us.

First time in for breakfast, saw all our jaws drop
as the door to her kitchen was closed fast,
on each of our plates, one cold mutton chop
one cold egg and one soggy cold burnt toast.

Well, we let it go by, said as time passes by
it’ll improve as we get to know them
but it never got better, each meal we’d decry
as tasteless or bitter or lukewarm.

Each night for dessert past a day of hard work
she doled out tinned prunes in abundance,
rice puddin’ was out, or no sweet custard tart
just prunes in a custard of prune juice.

So we christened her Pruney and the name stuck
while ever she cooked on our station,
the groom was a Goon so that label was struck
and surreptitiously pinned to his apron.

It all came to a head one night about bread
stoney faced she doled out a wee ration,
we knocked on the door and asked nicely for more
and this caused a huge confrontation.

Goon leapt through the door with a ferocious roar
he was waving a butchers steel wildly,
he threw bread on the floor and declared with a roar
“I’ll kill you youse bastards so help me ”.

Then the Manager came, tried to settle him down,
we retired to our quarters and listened,
the shouting went on ’till just before dawn
when the dust of their leavin’ was witnessed.

That mornin’ at breakfast saw all our jaws drop
the Managers wife had cooked breakfast,
a large plate of chops and eggs, piping hot,
as well as hot tea and hot crumpets.

So that was the last of Pruney and Goon
on that station outback in Mulwaree,
they’d departed the scene not a moment too soon
left only dust and bad taste in our mem’ry.

Hard to think that for them, a job might be found
we thought, maybe this job was their last,
but word’s filtered down, they’re still around
servin’ cold chops and burnt toast at breakfast.

Re: Pruney & the Goon

Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2020 9:10 pm
by Shelley Hansen
Yeech! Almost makes a McMuffin sound inviting!!