The TAB With No Loo
Posted: Sun Feb 20, 2011 5:30 am
Found this in my Aunties Folder.
A true story staring my uncle Tom, or so my niece tells me.
The TAB With No Loo
A friend gave me a racing tip
that was sure to beat them all
I was just about to place me bet
when I gets an urgent call.
Where's the loo, I asked a fella
who answered with a smile
the one that's here is just for staff
so you'll have to run the mile.
I dashed out through the blinkin door
round the cornor up the road
I wasn't game to take a pause
in case I dropped me load.
Straight through the public bar I went
standing on the drinkers toes
I made a bee-line for their loo
but I was beaten by a nose.
I pranced around but could not wait
so then took off once more.
I didn't stop till I got home
and raced through me front door.
But standing there inside the door
I found to me disgrace
That even though I'd run so fast
I'd lost the bloody race.
Now the pub that has no beer mate
it's a tragedy it's true
but it ain't near as aggravating
as a TAB without a loo.
So all you punters take my tip
and this is just not talk
when you go there to place your bets
make sure you take a cork.
Pat Little
A true story staring my uncle Tom, or so my niece tells me.
The TAB With No Loo
A friend gave me a racing tip
that was sure to beat them all
I was just about to place me bet
when I gets an urgent call.
Where's the loo, I asked a fella
who answered with a smile
the one that's here is just for staff
so you'll have to run the mile.
I dashed out through the blinkin door
round the cornor up the road
I wasn't game to take a pause
in case I dropped me load.
Straight through the public bar I went
standing on the drinkers toes
I made a bee-line for their loo
but I was beaten by a nose.
I pranced around but could not wait
so then took off once more.
I didn't stop till I got home
and raced through me front door.
But standing there inside the door
I found to me disgrace
That even though I'd run so fast
I'd lost the bloody race.
Now the pub that has no beer mate
it's a tragedy it's true
but it ain't near as aggravating
as a TAB without a loo.
So all you punters take my tip
and this is just not talk
when you go there to place your bets
make sure you take a cork.
Pat Little