ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

This is the first time I've shared one of my poems with anyone. Hope you enjoy and feel free to leave feedback whether good or bad. I apologise for any spelling or grammar mistakes. This poem was written when my grandfather past away. He owned a beach house where we would holiday every christmas. It has since been sold but I hold the place dear to my heart.

The Shack

Upon the salt stained headland
Lies the Scott's head shack
And the man that built her rustic walls
Now lays upon his back

The sun has scorched her blister walls
Its damage is unforgiving
But the shack stands firm upon her pillars
And goes about its living

The sands of time have changed her now
And the ownership has past
But her skeleton of hard wood stands
As sturdy as a mast

The sound of waves sooth the soul
As you lay between her walls
And its hard not to fall in love
With shacks inviting calls

Rest in peace Grandpa
From the ground in which you lay
And know the former shack you built
Is a beautiful mansion today

So as you sleep find comfort
That the shack is in good hands
Until we meet again
On heavens golden sands

Written by Troy Lane

G/day Troy,
Congratulations on putting up your first poem here, hope to see more in the future.

Happy memories, and I can relate to that. My Dad had a share in a shack at a place called Cordinup which is east of Albany and I still recall those happy times, some of my most enjoyable days were spent there.

Regards Terry

Yeah good onya Troy for jumping in. Welcome to the forum. Enjoyed your poem and the sentiments are those that many could relate to. Look forward to hearing more from you.

Cheers, Marty

Welcome Troy. That is a lovely poem and I am so glad you shared it. You are in good company here. Enjoy!

Heather

Good to have you on board Troy and look forward to seeing more of your work - enjoyed your Granddads shack story - memories are wonderful things to keep those we love close to us.

Your Granddad would be proud of you Mate.

Cheers

Maureen

It's always pleasant Troy to see folk paying tribute to those they cared for.


The Storyteller.

Welcome Troy I enjoyed your poem and I hope your grandfather enjoys it when he reads it from up above

Bill Williams

G'day Troy, well done. Good to have another member.
I like your poem, it's a look at things from a different angle.

You asked for feedback, I would urge you to think about lines 4 and 6. You can create a more powerful image, not by obvious spelling out but by suggestion.

The rest of the lines are great !!
If this is your first then you are off to a good start.


Neville

G'day Troy...
I reckon Neville is spot on. If you are new at this caper, then I look forward to watching your progress. Your words convey your sense of serenity and your Grand-dad's presence very well.
But perhaps we are jumping to conclusions...you say this is the first of your poems to share with us, not that this is your first poem. So why not tell us a little about yourself...been writing long? Are you young, old, city, country, NRL, AFL (this is very important), pencil or puter ?? You mention the shack being at Scotts Head. A beautiful spot and little more than a bull's roar from my neck of the woods (Bellingen).
Look forward to more contributions. Well done.

Cheers, Will.

(see what I mean, Forgotten again.)

G'day Troy,

Thank you for sharing your writing with us. I doubt this is your first ever poem by the skill you have displayed. You have no trouble at all setting the mood and choosing the right words to express what you wish to say. Hope you enjoy your first visit and decide to hang around.

As Martyboy asked before, please feel free to go to the Introduction section and tell us something abut you. eg where are you from? which area do you live in now? etc