ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

Dangerous I know.

Apologies to Banjo.

Nancy Of The Underflow

I had written him a letter, which I had for want of better knowledge
Sent to where I met him in Newcastle, years ago.
He was stripping when I knew him so I sent the letter to him
Addressed simply as follows Nancy of the underflow.

And an answer came directed in a writing unexpected
For I think the same was written with mascara from a jar
Was his life partner who wrote it and verbatim I will quote it
Nancy's gone to Kings Cross Duckie for the Gay and lesbian mardi gras.

In my wild exotic fancies a vision comes to me of Nancy
out in front of the parade dressed up in tight shorts and padded bra
lines of Dykes on bikes are stringing and Nancy prances along singing
for a strippers life has pleasures that the straight folk never know.

His friends rush out to meet him with hugs and kisses then they greet him
and there’s a great big plastic fairy mounted up upon a car,
and he can see the tight suspenders of the lines of gender benders
and the everlasting glory of men in feathers stretches far.



I am sitting here in Logan cause I’m just a city bogan
who likes hanging with my mates and telling jokes in public bars
and on Sundays we go cruising round the suburb of our choosin
and do burnouts in the streets in super duper hotted cars

And I can hear the exhaust shaking as the rear end it is snaking
swinging left to right with black smoke just pouring from the wheel.
You can hear my mates all screaming while on their faces smiles are beaming
as I wack it into third and drift out far as wide tyres squeal.

All the coppers they do haunt me, with their squad cars do they taunt me
when I hear their siren howling I roar off in nervous haste.
For they are eager, sly and greedy and their cruisers getting speedy
and if they catch me hooning mate they’ll bloody confiscate my car.

Now I really do not fancy that I’d like to swap with Nancy
cause I’m a true blue Aussie fella who is very quick to rile
and I don’t think I’d last second if a transvestite bloke should beckon
I would grab my six pack esky mate and run a bloody mile.

Robert Alan Pacey

Hey Bob, - You owe me a new computer keyboard! I just spilled coffee all over this one.

Hilarious. I reckon that would make Banjo laugh as well.

There was a bit of a leap between gay mardi gras and hoons in cars Bobbo but all good fun. I don't know if Banjo would get it though!

Heather

You ok there Henry?

I see you know some of my friends Bob Very good. very funny, very politically incorrect but what the hell - made me laugh. Logan's not all that far from here either

Woop's I forgot I should have put it up in Chit Chat, Better afdjust my profile now Look out Newcastle as well.


Been working on that for a while as a performance piece but just could not get the ending but what the heck it is all fun as you say.


Bobbo.

Some good rhymes in there you crusty old rum-soaked bogan (or is there a bit more of Nancy in the Bobbit than he's letting on?? )

Whaddabout . . But secretly I fancy that I'd like to swap with Nancy
Like to feel the flossing G-string, wax my bottom hairs (and mo)
swap the stone-wash for suspenders, laugh and prance with gender benders
but I doubt she'd suit the Bogans . . Nancy of the underflow

Yeah good one Marty, You are the nice Marty arn't you ?

Bum Floss ????

I cop enough off the other one without you starting on me as well.


Stay out of this Marty, The other one I mean, oh shit now I'm all confused.

How do you know if you are a bogan. People keep turning up to your front yard garage sale but you are not having one !!!!



Robert

which suggests perhaps that your yard needs a tidy Bob

Maureen I decided to clean out the front garden the other day and after I did I went to golf, came home to a front yard devoid of trees as my son decided it needed more of a clean up. Bloody kids they think they own the place, oh hang on he does better shut up and go back under the house.


Cheers Bob

I'll stay out of the political argument.

I thought this verse was a good effort because it has some energy and bravado which I think is something we should strive for in bush ballads.
Reminds me of Stephen Fry's explanation of ballads

" The ballad is pub poetry, it is naughty and nautical, crude and carefree. It's elbows are always on the table, it never lowers the seat for ladies after it's been or covers its mouth when it burps.......Chief among its virtues is a keen passion to tell you a story; it will grab you by the lapels, stare you in the eyes and plunge right in " ( The Ode Less Travelled, 2005, p192 )