
Homework 25-11-13 Primordial legend
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- Glenny Palmer
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Re: Homework 25-11-13 Primordial legend
..der Neviiillle! I liked the surprise!  
			
									
									
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Re: Homework 25-11-13 Primordial legend
Agree with Neville that it would work leaving the last verse off and altering the kid to his son but then also like the repetition of the first verse in the last verse as it ties it all together.
			
									
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Re: Homework 25-11-13 Primordial legend
Isn't it great to see Neville Briggs, patron of the AFL (anti-football league) immersing himself in some footbrawling culture  
 
Goodonya Nev! I agree with your tip on the climax . . . it ties it off in a more subtle way.
Marty
			
									
									
						 
 Goodonya Nev! I agree with your tip on the climax . . . it ties it off in a more subtle way.
Marty
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				Neville Briggs
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Re: Homework 25-11-13 Primordial legend
 You're on to me Marty P. I was going to say, a poem to appeal to the meatheads, but I wouldn't say a thing like that.
  You're on to me Marty P. I was going to say, a poem to appeal to the meatheads, but I wouldn't say a thing like that.Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.
						" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.
- Glenny Palmer
- Posts: 1816
- Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:47 am
Re: Homework 25-11-13 Primordial legend
Oh der meee Neville. I mis-read your post & thunk you were saying ''the second stanza''.....  Yessir, you are correct, & I shoulda had my nanna nap before I mouthed off. XX...
 Yessir, you are correct, & I shoulda had my nanna nap before I mouthed off. XX... 
			
									
									 Yessir, you are correct, & I shoulda had my nanna nap before I mouthed off. XX...
 Yessir, you are correct, & I shoulda had my nanna nap before I mouthed off. XX... 
The purpose of my life is to serve as a warning to others.
						- 
				Neville Briggs
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Re: Homework 25-11-13 Primordial legend
Should have had your bex and a lie down.  B e  x    
			
									
									
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.
						" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

