HOMEWORK 27 JANUARY 2020

All Registered Forum Users can participate in the writing exercises for the current fortnight.
Users can also participate in comment and constructive feedback in this Workshop.

Moderator: Shelley Hansen

Post Reply
Neville Briggs
Posts: 6946
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:08 pm
Location: Here

HOMEWORK 27 JANUARY 2020

Post by Neville Briggs » Mon Jan 13, 2020 3:37 pm

FLYING HIGH


There’s a place where we used to walk and dream,
down the bush where the creek ran clear and clean,
and the tall eucalypts would wave their leaves
in the fragrant heat of Summer’s breeze.

There were tracks through the brush, a secret way
so we thought, that could lead to caves of grey
weathered rock, in the green and winking light.

But that was before the creek ran dry;
But that was before black smoke filled the sky;
And that was before the sparks flying high.

Now the dreams of the day are dreams of night.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

User avatar
Catherine Lee
Posts: 1304
Joined: Mon May 14, 2012 9:47 pm
Location: Thailand

Re: HOMEWORK 27 JANUARY 2020

Post by Catherine Lee » Tue Jan 14, 2020 7:13 pm

I like this Neville, it's very evocative - I can smell the eucalyptus and feel the breeze, and then of course, feel the sadness in your final images...

Neville Briggs
Posts: 6946
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:08 pm
Location: Here

Re: HOMEWORK 27 JANUARY 2020

Post by Neville Briggs » Wed Jan 15, 2020 12:33 pm

Thanks Catherine. There's not a lot to say, it's mostly feeling of loss,
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 8047
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
Contact:

Re: HOMEWORK 27 JANUARY 2020

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Wed Jan 15, 2020 2:56 pm

Good one Neville - nicely crafted and less is so often more as we know. The sadness is tangible in your poem :cry:
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Neville Briggs
Posts: 6946
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:08 pm
Location: Here

Re: HOMEWORK 27 JANUARY 2020

Post by Neville Briggs » Sun Jan 19, 2020 3:42 pm

Thanks Maureen, there's a lot of grief and loss around. I don't think it is over yet by a long way.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

Terry
Posts: 3287
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:53 pm

Re: HOMEWORK 27 JANUARY 2020

Post by Terry » Sat Jan 25, 2020 11:35 am

G/day Neville

I really like this one Neville,
I always enjoy a bit of real poetry, and this one is.
It's an art we're fast losing, IMO.

Cheers

Terry

Neville Briggs
Posts: 6946
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:08 pm
Location: Here

Re: HOMEWORK 27 JANUARY 2020

Post by Neville Briggs » Tue Jan 28, 2020 8:21 am

Thanks for the great encouragement Terry, I'm blushing :oops: . ( even with the partial rhymes :lol: )
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

Terry
Posts: 3287
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:53 pm

Re: HOMEWORK 27 JANUARY 2020

Post by Terry » Thu Jan 30, 2020 11:05 pm

It's homework Neville!
Almost anything goes mate.
But I still like this one.

Cheers

Terry

User avatar
Shelley Hansen
Posts: 2224
Joined: Sun May 04, 2014 5:39 pm
Location: Maryborough, Queensland
Contact:

Re: HOMEWORK 27 JANUARY 2020

Post by Shelley Hansen » Mon Feb 03, 2020 3:28 pm

Oh yes, Neville!

An economy of words producing maximum impact! I like it too! :)

Regards
Shelley
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

Post Reply