It's When You Switch to Crampons...
Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2018 7:21 pm
It’s When You Switch to Crampons…
Oh, it’s wicked in the mountains when the winter’s at its height;
When the gales sweep the ridges with their fury and their might;
When the snow is deep and ruthless, and the wind chill’s off the chart,
But it’s when you switch to crampons that the troubles really start.
Oh, the track is quite relentless. It’s a soul-destroying grind,
And the fog is thick and soupy, so you might as well be blind.
There’s scarce an opportunity to pause and take a rest,
But it’s when you switch to crampons that you face the greatest test.
Oh, the skiing’s never easy with a pack upon your back,
And the mountain won’t submit, no matter how strong your attack.
You might believe this journey brings the greatest challenge yet,
But it’s when you switch to crampons that you really start to sweat.
It’s when you switch to crampons that you must remove your skis.
Just make sure that they’re not stolen by the bracing alpine breeze.
Next remove your mittens and, likewise, protect them well,
For frozen thumbs and fingers is a slow drop into hell.
Next attach your crampons (if your fingers still have strength),
Noting tension at the buckles, and the straps at proper length.
Now lastly, put your mittens on once more, and grab your pack.
Adjust the chest and waist straps so it’s snug upon your back.
Now gently rest your skis upon your shoulders. You are done,
And ready for that slope of ice, the final piece of fun.
The worst is now behind you. It’s a piece of cake from here.
It’s when you switch to crampons that you feel the greatest fear!
© Stephen Whiteside 14.08.2018
Oh, it’s wicked in the mountains when the winter’s at its height;
When the gales sweep the ridges with their fury and their might;
When the snow is deep and ruthless, and the wind chill’s off the chart,
But it’s when you switch to crampons that the troubles really start.
Oh, the track is quite relentless. It’s a soul-destroying grind,
And the fog is thick and soupy, so you might as well be blind.
There’s scarce an opportunity to pause and take a rest,
But it’s when you switch to crampons that you face the greatest test.
Oh, the skiing’s never easy with a pack upon your back,
And the mountain won’t submit, no matter how strong your attack.
You might believe this journey brings the greatest challenge yet,
But it’s when you switch to crampons that you really start to sweat.
It’s when you switch to crampons that you must remove your skis.
Just make sure that they’re not stolen by the bracing alpine breeze.
Next remove your mittens and, likewise, protect them well,
For frozen thumbs and fingers is a slow drop into hell.
Next attach your crampons (if your fingers still have strength),
Noting tension at the buckles, and the straps at proper length.
Now lastly, put your mittens on once more, and grab your pack.
Adjust the chest and waist straps so it’s snug upon your back.
Now gently rest your skis upon your shoulders. You are done,
And ready for that slope of ice, the final piece of fun.
The worst is now behind you. It’s a piece of cake from here.
It’s when you switch to crampons that you feel the greatest fear!
© Stephen Whiteside 14.08.2018