ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

Why Kick a Moo Cow?

The judge eyed the defendant as he stood there in the dock.
The crime had been so senseless, he was in a state of shock.
“Before I pass your sentence, could you please just tell me why
You chose to kick a cow? It will be hard but, please, still try.”

Why kick a moo cow?
Why punch a baa lamb?
Why poke a bleat goat?
What does it matter now?

Why jab a neigh horse?
Why bump a bark dog?
Why hit a miaow cat?
Why kick a moo cow?

The judge recoiled in horror. Than he shook his head. “It’s sad.
Take him off to hospital. The poor chap is quite mad.”
They placed him in a jacket, and they marched him down the hall,
And listened to the echoes as they bounced from wall to wall.

Why jump on a jellyfish?
Why dribble on a dolphin?
Why strangle a stingray?
Why whack a whale?
Why box a budgerigar?
Why maul a magpie?
Why scratch a swan?
Why eviscerate an egret?
Why put a headlock on a heron?
Why wallop a wallaby?
Why biff a buffalo?

etc…etc…

© Stephen Whiteside. 01.07.2018

Somehow I knew you'd rise to that particular challenge, Stephen! ...And yes, why indeed, for all of the above?!

Such senseless cruelty, Catherine! Very sad.

(Groan) ... Look at what you’ve done, Catherine. Did you ever read the story of Pandora’s box???

Hmm...yes indeed - one must be careful what one wishes for!

Why torture a triantiwontigongolope?

Oh, try!
Tri
Triantiwonti ...

Hi Stephen

I can recall a relatively successful race horse in the mid 1990s named Waikikamukau. Apparently derived from a place in New Zealand. I'd wager the race callers had trouble initially with the pronunciation.

Liked your poem.

Regards, jeff

and here I was thinking whykickamoocow was one of those wacky New Zealand place names and then seems it was according to Jeff's post above Waikikamukau

Jeff is spot on.

That horse was racing not that many years ago - the race callers pronounced it as 'Why Kick A Moo Cow'
Not that I'm a punter myself but I clearly remember it; and had to smile at the humour of those cunning Kiwi's.

Cheers

Terry