THE AUSSIE SPECIES

[Frank Daniel]

THE AUSSIE SPECIES
© Frank Daniel Canowindra nsw. October 1998


Have you ever had a decent look at the species ‘Aussie Man;’
Both sexes I’m referring to — they roam throughout this land.
They’re born at a very early age and suckle their mother's breast,
Some stay that way for at least a year until they give it best.

By then they’re at the toddlers stage, that’s when they learn to walk.
And vain attempts are often made to teach them how to talk.
They’re quite adept at bawling in a ruse to get their way,
Then plastic bits instead of tits soothes them through the day.

Comes time for education, that’s when television takes its turn,
Sesame Street and Kindy shows are the usual ways to learn.
When the nestling reaches three years old it’s time for interaction,
They’re taken from their homely nest into a pre-schools faction.

From five the weanlings go to school until they reach their teens,
Advancing to Universities for more learned ones it seems.
The work-place finds a lot of them proudly building on their morals,
While the others tend to laze about resting on their laurels.

The labour force shares all the toil — that’s equality and fairness.
While educated yuppies vie for socio-political awareness.
The working class pays all the tax and supports the un-employed,
Who live a life of luxury on the coast-lines — melanoid.

The breeding cycle then revolves, new fledglings make the scene,
The younger chicks are cleverer than their forebears so it seems.
They thrive on education and create communicative skills,
And wonder why their dads and mums were ever born such dills.

Then we have the ‘tinkie’ types; ‘two incomes and no kids’,
They won’t have their life of leisure spoiled by screaming ‘billy-lids’.
They respect each others earnings and live as man and spouse
And share the bills together in a grand old terraced house.

Finally in their later years the species starts to lose its bloom
Less care is taken in appearance, less time there is to groom.
They wear thongs or floppy sandals, take on a brand-new guise,
With baggy shorts and sloppy shirts, or track-suits oversized.

And instead of settling down to rest after forty years of debt,
They grab their superannuation — and try to get rid of it.
Instead of King-Gee working clothes or suits of blended wool,
They buy a flamin’ four-wheel-drive and a caravan to pull.

They migrate to the northern states to suck up sun and leisure,
And hide the fact from others that the van is all their treasure.
They make out that they’re happy and would not be dead for quids,
And sit around a camp-fire — and skite about their kids.



'Only half the lies I tell are the truth. . . . "

[r.magnay]

G'day Frank,
Ain't it the truth, I particularly like the last couple of stanzas, every year a couple of mates and I go to the V8's in Darwin, we camp one night each way in a caravan park, just in our swags, the best part is watching all the grey nomads come in and try and set up their two hundred thousand dollar rigs!....and yeah that is probably the extent of their monetary wealth!

[Leonie]

Love this, very perceptive of all the ages of man. But I particularly love the ending about finally getting out of debt and then buying the 'flamin' four wheel drive and caravan'. We get the grey nomads driving through town here in their dirty big winnebagos, doing a fair impersonation of the Leyland Brothers, but with all the luxuries of home.

[Dave Smith]

Oie oie ya given the grey nomads a bit of a floggin, some of us need the sunshine in the winter to keep body and soul together, but you’re right some of them seem to squander there hard earned shekels, but hey life’s about the journey not the gains, mates we have 5 kids 9 grandkids and3 great grandkids a 26 year old land cruiser and a 18 year old caravan but we do have fun.

Good God I can waffle on A.

TTFN

[william williams]

Good on you dave you've got one more grand child than me and the same number of greatgrand kids but my Nissen patrol is one year younger only trouble is I ain't got a caravan but me missus and I we still enjoy life

bill williams