HAVE YOU?

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Zondrae
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Re: HAVE YOU?

Post by Zondrae » Wed Nov 10, 2010 12:06 pm

G'da Trisha,

Very powerful piece. I'm sure most of us have had to try to show a stiff upper lip to the world at some time.

I hope that you don't mind but it is my intention to come up with an answer to this one... I be back shortly.
Zondrae King
a woman of words

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Zondrae
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Re: HAVE YOU?

Post by Zondrae » Wed Nov 10, 2010 12:29 pm

OK that didn't take long

Thanks Trisha for inspiring this one. I haven't checked the metre etc. but we know this is not the type of poem that we would send to a comp (so I'll check it later). I'm off to have a nanny nap. Still recovering.


In Silence
© Zondrae King (Corrimal) 11/10

Have you listened, in the darkness,
as if waiting for a voice
that would tell you of the reason
that you loved one was God’s choice?

Did you pray, in desperation
with out knowing what to say
then a thought came in on silent
wings to guide you on your way.

Was the thought the voice of reason
telling you that all is well
for your loved one lead a good life
and there’s no such thing as hell.

Was it you providing answers
or did you, at last, connect
to the God who speak in silence
and at times we least expect?

Did He whisper “I am with you”?
give you shelter from the storm
of confusion that was brewing.
Do you now feel safe and warm.
Zondrae King
a woman of words

Heather

Re: HAVE YOU?

Post by Heather » Wed Nov 10, 2010 1:38 pm

A powerful poem to make you think Trisha. A lovely response Zondrae.

Heather :)

Trisha Patterson

Re: HAVE YOU?

Post by Trisha Patterson » Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:16 pm

Hi Zondrae,
Glad my poem inspired you! No reason those poems could not be entered in a comp. You would just need to find the right one!

Thanks Heather!

Trisha

Neville Briggs
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Re: HAVE YOU?

Post by Neville Briggs » Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:31 pm

That's good work Trish, the use of the repeats is very effective, and that sort of pattern is a traditional form. Doesn't need rhyming :o because the repeated phrases give sufficient structure.

When they make me a judge Zondrae :lol: you can put that one in my comp and I'll give it good marks.( as long as you fix the typos )



Neville
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

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Zondrae
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Re: HAVE YOU?

Post by Zondrae » Wed Nov 10, 2010 6:52 pm

Sorry Neville,

I did rush it a bit.
Zondrae King
a woman of words

Terry
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Re: HAVE YOU?

Post by Terry » Wed Nov 10, 2010 10:56 pm

G/day Trish & Zondrae,

They are both excellent poems that I really enjoyed.

Cheers Terry

Trisha Patterson

Re: HAVE YOU?

Post by Trisha Patterson » Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:42 am

Hi Terry,
Glad you enjoyed the read/s!
Trisha

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: HAVE YOU?

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:51 am

Applause Ladies - well done - now if you two got together and intermingled these poems as a collaborative piece - seeing as to how you think that they are not suitable ???? for comps - well what a truly wonderful and powerful poem you would have then.

Cheers

Maureen
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Trisha Patterson

Re: HAVE YOU?

Post by Trisha Patterson » Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:56 am

Hi Maureen,
Thankyou!
But "I" didnt say they wouldn't be suitable! That was Zondrae's comment!

Regards
Trisha

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