I'm Looking Through My Pony's Eyes

[Kym]

I was just talking to Bob Pacey about "smelling sunshine" and I reckon I've figured it out. Maybe its just pollen or horse poo dust, but I can smell it. Maybe its "country" I'm smelling more than sunshine? Either way, it smells good! Much better than shopping centres with recirculated aircon, swirling everyone's body odour, burps and fluffies together so we can all rebreath it ... eeeewww ....

[Zondrae]

G'day Kym,

Oh!, Now I understand. I thought it was the pony talking not a rider of any kind. Maybe this 'pain in the neck' I have been suffering for a week is doing something to dull my poetic senses. Or pehaps it is the pain killers. It is a bit better today. Hope the Doc's prediction of "no more than 10 days' for recovery is right. Today is 8.

[Heather]

You are very whimsical today Kym.

PersonallyI wouldn't let it out that the rider is blind in the second stanza - let it carry over until the end - keep the reader guessing and imagining. I think you could even leave it until the last two lines in the last stanza. Hint at it but don't give it away until the last.

Heather

[Maureen K Clifford]

As you say Kym we all look at things differently and so you get so many different opinions that may ultimately not be helpful at all but it gives food for thought

For what it's worth I reckon you have nailed it -* it is a fabulous piece - well done.

Cheers

Maureen

[Heather]

Oh Maureen, you just want the best Christmas pressi!

[Maureen K Clifford]

No I don't Heather - I am a member of the anti Christmas movement - I have got the best present and the only present I ever want or need in my two girls - my life is totally complete - I want for nothing

Cheers

Maureen

[Bellobazza]

G'day Sheree...

For what it's worth, I felt that I was reading a song lyric in the original posting with the repetitions (and I reckon you should lean on some of our muso members for some suitable music). I very much enjoyed that version with that in mind. But I also very much enjoyed each version as it evolved. Interesting that there should be such a variety of reactions, hey?
So all I can say is...I trust your instincts and you should too.

Cheers, Barry.

[Kym]

Sshhh Barry, you're going to blow our secret squirrel cover ...

[Kym]

Hey Will, how are ya'? Variety of reactions, yeah that's for sure. But I guess there's no poem ever written that every person will like. And it's good to hear everyone's different reactions, it highlights the weak spots where I haven't gotten my story across clearly. I kind of have a "movie" in my head as I'm writing and so often miss explaining bits that seem obvious to me but don't get across in the words, so I'm always glad to have any sort of feedback. Thanks everyone!

[Leonie]

I tend to agree with Will, err ... Barry? umhh ... Bellobazza about trusting your own instincts. I think they have always served you well in the past. Goodonya Kym err ... Sheree? umhh ... Mad Mare.